Red Flags vs Green Flags in Friendships

Recognizing When a Friend is Toxic or Healthy During Your College Years

By Delaney Smith

Looking out for healthy and toxic signs in a friend is important for maintaining good friendships that will better yourself and your well-being. 

Everyone loves a “girls, girls.” Someone who is all about supporting women and their accomplishments is the ideal person to be your friend. However, navigating your friends in college is challenging and you will likely fizzle out with many friends you made your freshman year, by the time you graduate.  

While friendship breakups are inevitable, there are certain red flags and green flags to look out for when meeting someone new. A “red flag” is a warning of danger and toxicity in a friendship whereas a “green flag” is a good trait that makes you think to go ahead with the friendship. 

RED FLAGS 

Constantly Making Fun of You

Many people will playfully give you a backhanded compliment or say “just kidding” phrases. This often means that your so-called “friend” is externalizing their insecurities by putting you down. A good friend is someone you can be yourself around and act silly without any judgment. Should you never feel judged, intimidated, or nervous around your close friends.

They Don’t Invite You  

If your friend group is posting pictures of themselves hanging out without you, they are not the ones, ladies. Close friends should always invite and include each other in everything, and you should not have to ask to be invited.

They Peer Pressure You

If someone is making you do something you don’t feel comfortable doing, they are NOT your friend. Even if the friend means no harm, forcing pressure can cause anxiety and guilt. 

They Get Jealous of You

If a friend gets jealous of you easily, RUN. Getting jealous can look many ways. It can come in the form of one-upping, downplaying your accomplishments or getting angry when you make another friend. Great friends should celebrate your accomplishments, and happiness.

GREEN FLAGS

Compatibility 

If silence is not awkward when you are hanging out with someone, keep them close.  You and your friend should be super compatible and able to talk easily while silence still feels normal. Laughter is the best medicine, and if you find yourself giggling away with your friend, you will leave them feeling happy and energized.

NO Gossip

If a friend is gossiping about someone, odds are they are also gossiping about you behind your back. Friends who talk about their future and goals are ones to keep around for bettering yourself rather than people who are constantly putting others down to make themselves feel better. 

They are There for You When You Need Them

A good friend should always have your back and be willing to do favors for you, big or small! Whether it’s driving you to the airport or crying on their shoulder during a heartbreak, good friends are always there and should not be annoyed when they help you out. 

They Have a Positive Mindset

Energies are transferable, and if someone has a good one, you will have a good one too. A positive mindset is important to maintain when working on your best self. If a friend gives off good vibes, your serotonin will thank you. 

Healthy friendships are so important for your college years. It may take a while to find the ones who’ll be your lifelong friends, but they will come if you put in the effort. Always remember it’s okay to distance yourself from someone you believe isn’t good for your health and trust your intuition. You got this!