Those of you who have been through a break-up will be familiar with an obligatory period of what can only be described as ‘moping about.’ This will typically include disgraceful numbers of empty Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough pots, days worth of Ryan Gosling romcoms and more tears than you thought it was physically possible to create.
Now, I’m not about to tell you girls that this stage of self-wallowing needs to vanish, because it’s an important part of your emotional recovery, and I too have been a victim of the ‘mope about.’ No matter who initiated the break up, you’re likely to feel as if nothing will make you capable of smiling again. BUT there are only so many romcoms in which Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off – if you have seen them all, I advise it is time for you to wash the sticky ice cream off your face, change those jammies for your favourite dress and go out with your girlfriends/family/friends and start to do things for YOU.
The next few steps should help you reinvent your single self in no time!
1. GO OUT – Spend time with the people in your life who bring out the best in you and increase your feelings of self-worth. Your friends were there before your ex-boyfriend was. They loved you as the single-girl before, the loved up girlfriend then, and the newly single you now. Don’t be scared to lean on those who love you the most – they are the ones who know how to put a smile back on your face.
2. Do something fun that’s JUST for you – whether that’s getting your nails done, trying a new hairstyle, or wearing your fave pair of 6-inch heels (the ones you could never wear in fear of making your now-ex boyfriend look ‘unmanly’!) There are no rules to this step, except to make sure you get photographed looking HOT!
3. Exercise away – Exercising doesn’t mean immediately slaving away at the gym. Drag your friends to a Zumba class or practice some yoga at home – you’d be surprised how fresh and relaxed you feel after. Science has proven that exercise releases the same endorphins as sex, relieving stress and lifting your mood! You never know, you may just meet your prince charming by the chest press machine…
4. Clear your mind, starting on the outside – You may feel as if you want to throw away everything that he gave you while you were together – or burn it, depending on the circumstances – this is only natural. However, you may regret this when you’ve destroyed every physical memory of the relationship, some of which made you happy at the time, and could still bring back happy memories. For an instant, and less extreme, cleanse, change your phone and laptop backgrounds to a picture of a cute animal doing something ridiculous. (see photo below for inspiration!) Alter your Facebook page so that his activity isn’t updated on your newsfeed and delete his number from your contacts. This way, there’s no chance that you’ll make an emotional drunk call in the middle of the night that you’ll almost always regret in the morning.
Whether your relationship lasted a week, or 3 years, it will be just as hard to adjust from ‘we’ to ‘me’. Remember, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have an identity; you’re wonderful on your own.
(Photo credits to victoria-writes.com, adweek.com, tumblr.com)