EPISODE 5:Â A Lions Liver – Absolutely Not
I’ve woken up on the wrong side of my bed, (as if that’s not bewildering enough), and I appear to have traded the memory of last night for excessive body pain, a nagging sense of snack shame and really really bad morning breath.
Clues of night activity are creatively placed about the room; bread and splatters of I-know-not-what decorates my desk, carpet and bathroom, a polystyrene kebab case takes centre stage on the floor, (that’d be the snack shame), and a fragrant pan of tissue and vomit pokes out from under the bed.
Potentially the worst morning of my 19 years. Â
Did I mention I was also dressed in pyjamas I most certainly don’t own? And oh was I in for a treat when last night’s messy antics were revealed, with great relish, by my loving flat mates! To complete the panty drop in Episode 4, my boobage made a regular appearance at my COURSE SOCIAL last night! Kitted out in homemade lion onesie (it was a circus theme) I unintentionally opted for ‘Slutty’ – how a curtain-made costume is sexy not many people know… but OHH did I forget what three quarters of skeptically cheap foreign vodka can doto a girl’s outfit; and some think getting out of a onesie is tricky! X Factor prinks battered me: mind, body and soul. Amongst the general stripping activity I became the guinea pig in the group debate ‘How Best to Tactical Chunder’ and proceeded to test each theory in the garden… bathroom… street… bedroom.  Various items were smashed resulting in my downfall – The Water Melon of Shame –  which was filled with a toxic concoction of spirits.  What followed was mass ponder on the pros and cons of calling for an ambulance. Thankfully, but narrowly, did I escape the clutches of THE ULTIMATE walk of shame back from the hospital come morning time. And instead? Of course a bread fight arose. Only natural.Memory now, dare I say, ‘accurately’ revived, I best work out how the hell to redeem my reputation before it is entirely tarnished. One week to reevaluate my drinking scheme for X Factor Live Shows and then yet another course social. Â
Vodka will not play a part in my next entry.
(Photo credits to tumblr.com, pinterest.com, whybecausescience.com)