How to Combat the Signs of (College) Aging

         You look frantically to your right, your left. All you find is a sea of unfamiliar faces. Your breathing becomes heavy, you scramble to make sense of your panic, while behind you, someone talks of the lack of air conditioning in Chrysostom and you overhear someone else ask for directions to the library. Your mind strains as you realize you’re no longer a freshman and have in fact entered the realm of upperclassmanhood. 

If you’re a Junior or a Senior, chances are you’ve experienced this sort of senile decay and have at least once, reverted back to the time of reckless abandonment we like to call freshman year. But fear not, Her Campus Manhattan College has compiled an anti-aging how-to guide, outlining the ways you can “cope” with your new found seniority.  

First, disregard all other food options and eat ONLY at Lockes while complaining about it profusely.

Avoid all upperclassman bars and hop right on the 1 train to good ole’ 110th street where Cannon’s, a few blocks away, shines like a beacon of juvenile hope. 

Ditch that freshly rolled out of bed look and dress to the nines for class in true freshman fashion.

Arrive at the bars as early as possible, dust off that old Rhode Island fake ID for old times sake, and rejoice in the fact that you and all of your friends weren’t denied.

Forget time management and revert back your naive ways of putting everything off until the last minute, at which point the formative mental breakdown will commence.

Engage in awkward hookups repeatedly with that one guy you know who ALWAYS ends up being in one of your classes.

Then avoid him as if your life depends upon it.

Say, “stick it” to the gym and regain that glorious freshman fifteen. Hoody Swag wrap anyone? 

If all else fails, come to terms with the fact that you’re nearing the end of the best four years of your life and all hope is lost. 

And to the underclassman…

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• zac efron