By, Niamh Withers
It’s a brisk Tuesday night and I’m walking back from my three hour lecture with my fellow classmate. Exhausted and ready for bed we begin the ten minute walk back to our dorm. It’s dark outside, but the street lights cast light upon the road, offering a sense of comfort as we head back. Along the way we pass two strange men, receiving uncomfortable and uncalled for comments from both. Keeping our heads straight and looking forward, we make sure not to react in any way that may jeopardize our safety. Whether it’s the day or night, walking alone or with a friend, it seems you can never avoid the constant degrading remarks made by men you have never met before. This is a terrifying, yet common occurrence for women living in New York City.
When I first moved here, I was pretty naive. I wasn’t fully aware just how dangerous it was to be living as a woman in the city. Perhaps it was because I was too young to understand, or my reliance on an adult to keep me safe. Regardless, the mood has changed leaving my apartment. Now that I am older, I carry my keys in between my fingers or grip onto a bottle of pepper spray, constantly having to be alert and aware of my surroundings. Although they are frightening, experiences like the one above have pushed me to become more independent and self-reliant, while simultaneously opening my eyes to the harsh reality of the world we live in. It is through this newly-found independence that I have gained confidence throughout my adulthood. As a result, the feeling of being able to express myself freely comes quite naturally.
I grew up in a town where being unique almost felt shamed upon. I hated feeling like I had to conform to others’ expectations in order to feel accepted. It’s the city where I found people so different from me that their uniqueness made me feel welcomed. I learned that being yourself is not something to feel ashamed of, it’s something to embrace and be proud of. One of the main reasons I love living in NYC is the variety of different personalities that are found here. No unique individual is the same, each having their own story to tell. It is through this uniqueness that the city becomes one. Each individual contributes to the sense of welcoming diversity you feel when being here, making up what New York City is all about.
Oftentimes, in order to see the potential for growth and character development within a situation, you have to reflect on it in retrospect. Unfortunately, being a woman in NYC brings much to fear and protect yourself from; however, at times those very experiences leave much room for growth and maturing. Even though life may throw uncomfortable situations my way, whether it be dealing with grotesque remarks in passing or lacking the ability to express myself in a certain environment, moving to the city has made me the person I am today. Every interaction I’ve had, whether it be a negative or positive one, has helped me gain my sense of individuality. I am proud of how far I have come, tackling many obstacles along the way, and continuing to discover who I am everyday.