As a diehard Swiftie, I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve heard the statement that Taylor Swift only writes songs about her exes. The root of these arguments rests on one thing: misogyny. I don’t remember anyone slamming John Mayer for writing his entire 2009 album, Battle Studies, about his breakup with Jennifer Aniston, yet Swift is still criticized to this day for her 2010 song, “Dear John” about Mayer. Swift has received countless attacks because of her gender based on the untrue claims that she writes songs that put men in an unfair, untruthful light. These claims rely on misogyny and the fact she is a proud feminist (and somehow therefore only supports women, in some people’s minds).
So, let’s start there. Most of the misogyny against Swift stems from her being a proud and true feminist. The main cause of this is that people believe feminism means “supporting women and women only”, but feminism is surrounded by the idea that we need to lift up women to make them equal to men. It is not the idea that women are better than men or that women need to be paid more than them, given more opportunities than them, etc. Feminists want equal opportunities and equal pay, simply asking for the bare minimum of being placed at the same level as men for doing the same things. It’s unfair that a woman could have the same education as a man and work the same job, yet receive less pay when feminine products are also more expensive than men’s.
Yet, this idea has been twisted through the years and given feminists a negative light for their “hatred of men”. Swift has experienced this first hand with the Google search, “Taylor Swift only writes songs about her exes” having 338,000 results. This not only discredits her talent but acts as though Swift’s songs based on her past relationships are against men. This misogynistic claim is completely untrue and even the songs about her exes simply explain what she went through and do not even name-drop the ex. “Dear John” is the only song where she explicitly names her ex (which is still only the basic first name), all the others are left to conspiracy. Swift’s songs about her exes give her fans something to relate to and help remind them that they are not alone in their feelings. “All Too Well” details the remnants of a once happy and now broken relationship, making those who are still feeling the hurt of missing a past relationship less alone. It has since become one of her most famous songs since its first release in 2012, and it’s newest re-release as a 10-minute version in 2021. This is not because it’s rumored to be about Jake Gyllenhall, but because of the heartfelt lyrics and deeper meaning of the song for the fans.
Additionally, Swift does not only have songs about relationships. An example of this is one of her songs on her 2022 album, Midnights, which showcases her profound writing style that goes beyond her past boyfriends. “You’re On Your Own, Kid” is from the perspective of someone who longs for love, giving “their blood, sweat, and tears” for it, before realizing they’re simply all alone. As someone who first heard this song during their senior year of high school, it made me reflect on all the things I’d been through in that time, how many crushes broke my heart during high school and now meant nothing to me, and how I was really going to be all alone soon as I went off to college with no comfort around. This is a hard feeling to handle, but Swift’s song and all the fans who posted relating to it helped me realize that there really was hope for me after high school, even if I was on my own, because everyone else felt that way too. She’s more than just someone’s ex, writing a song to “bash men”, her words have real and deeper meanings that hit close to home for most.
There are so many more of Swift’s songs I could dive into the real meaning of, like “Ronan”, “Nothing New”, “this is me trying” and the list goes on and on and on. Yet, these songs don’t get brought up in the argument that “She only writes songs about her exes”. Neither do the good deeds she’s used her money for over the years, like donating the proceeds from her song, “Welcome to New York” to New York public schools in 2015, making generous donations to food banks in each city she visited on her recent Eras Tour, donating to the World Health Organization and Feeding America during the pandemic, among so many other things. This is because it’s much easier to put a woman down because she “publicly hates on her exes”, which turns into publicly shaming men, than to simply hate on her because she is a successful woman, creating a pathway for younger women to succeed alongside her. Music aside, Swift has shown nothing but a heart of gold through the years and all the brutal backlash she has received is and will always be rooted in misogyny. When roles are reversed, male artists have their songs about their exes hyped up and are hardly ever shamed. Yet, all people can talk about is Swift’s songs that do the exact same thing all artists have done through the years: write about their real-life experiences.