By Chloe Barth
*The names of all women involved in these affairs will be omitted in order to protect their reputation and their privacy*
The internet was caught in a firestorm in September when not one, but two well-known wife guys were caught up in cheating scandals. Former “Try Guys” member Ned Fulmer and Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine were both exposed for cheating on their wives.
“Wife guys” have been around for a while, but only recently received an official title. A wife guy is a man whose public persona is almost entirely based around loving their wife. Think Brad Pitt crashing an episode of Friends, then attending the Golden Globes in matching outfits with his then-wife in honor of the series. Wife guys set a high standard for their peers by making their entire personality simply having a wife, thus establishing their devotion to said wife and garnering positive publicity. The problem is, they can never keep up this charade for long.
Most recently, videos of Ned Fulmer accuse the content creator of engaging in “public romantic behavior” with someone who is not his wife. The woman was later revealed to be an employee of the Try Guys. Fulmer is best known for his work with the Try Guys, a group of four who started as a series on Buzzfeed before leaving to create their own YouTube channel. Fulmer stood out in the group for his continual references to his wife. Their spinoff channel, “Second Try,” created a video dedicated to the bit, which compiled a minute and a half of Fulmer saying “my wife.” Fulmer’s kids were even featured in Try Guys videos, such as “Eugene Babysits Ned’s Baby,” as well as on his own personal YouTube channel. Over the years, Fulmer painted himself as a man utterly devoted to his family and his wife. When he was exposed for cheating, all were shocked, including his own coworkers. The Try Guys subsequently removed Fulmer from their group, and explained their decision-making process in a video entitled “what happened.” The three remaining members emphasized the genuine friendship that they had, expressing hurt and anger that their friend could manipulate both themselves and the workplace in the way that he did.
A week before Fulmer’s scandal, Adam Levine was exposed for having an affair as well. The singer was called out on Tik Tok by a woman who claimed to be “manipulated” into having an affair with him. “I was new to LA,” she explained in another video, “… I was under the impression that their marriage was over.” She provided screenshots of their conversations, which took place between herself and Levine’s verified Instagram account. During one exchange, the singer asked for permission to name his child after her. Levine denied these allegations on Instagram stories, stating that, “I did not have an affair, nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life.” He has since been called out for the language of this explanation. Specifically, actress Chrishell Stause critiqued his claims that the couple will work through things together. She instead asserted that his wife should be able to speak for herself.
Male celebrities tend to use cop-outs such as these to protect their reputation. They refer to themselves and their partners as a unit so as to distract from their individual actions. Most of the time, they do not admit to any wrongdoing at all. After John Mulaney was accused of cheating on his ex-wife, he took to Late Night with Seth Meyers to give a recap of his year. Events included his divorce, pregnancy, drug abuse, recovery and an ill-timed joke about the January 6 Capitol riots. Despite his muddling of this timeline, the facts remain that John Mulaney welcomed a child with another woman only six months after announcing his split with his ex-wife. Mulaney’s actions shed a new light on some of his shows. Past sets, including Netflix’s “John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City” include blatantly anti-Semitic jokes based on his ex-wife. During this set, he introduced her by saying, “She is a dynamite, five-foot, Jewish bitch and she’s the best.” He continued to make anti-Semitic jokes based on her, which were chalked up to a husband’s lighthearted jokes about his wife. He got away with a number of other inappropriate jokes before his divorce, including those about being perceived as Asian-American when he was a child. By publicly establishing himself as a good person, he led fans to overlook evidence to the contrary. The comedian’s actions explain why male celebrities choose to uplift their wives publicly without following through privately: being a “wife guy” is a part of a brand.
Society praises men for doing the bare minimum. As fathers, men are not expected to be as involved as mothers, and are praised for simple actions such as changing diapers and taking their children to school. Meanwhile, women are expected to take on the majority of household duties. They are also expected to stand by their men through wrongdoing. These expectations have had public repercussions since at least the 1990s, when Bill Clinton was caught taking advantage of a White House intern. The President’s wife stood off-stage as he lied to the public, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” “Wife guys” are the newest addition to the same old, misogynistic handbook. They capitalize on society’s low expectations for their own benefit. Wife guys are rewarded for displaying devotion that should be commonplace, and disappoint fans when they fail to maintain this image.