It’s hard to deny the orange-spray-tanned-guy in the room these days, mostly because the media does not allow us to. Every night when we turn on the news, we are assaulted by vicious reports about our president – because that is what he is…our president. Whether you voted for him or not, that office and that title deserves some respect. Respect which the American news media seems to be incapable of lately. Recently, I started watching HBO’s The Newsroom for about the fourth time and as always, I was overcome with a great sense of patriotism after each episode. This earth was blessed by a prophet named Aaron Sorkin who, unlike many other people, tells the truth. His character Will McAvoy is “on a mission to civilize,” and tells the truth about this country. While it may be brutal, Will McAvoy (played by the amazing Jeff Daniels) and the team in the newsroom tell remarkable stories, all while throwing around hilarious one-liners and monumental speeches with awesome literary references. Truthfully, The Newsroom may be what the country needs to come together.
1. “And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell students that America’s so star-spangled awesome, that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. So 207 sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom. And yeah, you, sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know, and one of them is, there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force, and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined. 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student. But you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst, period, generation, period, ever, period, so when you ask, ‘What makes us the greatest country in the world?’ I dunno know what the fuck you’re talking about! Yosemite? It sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons, we passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons, we waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it, it didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in our last election, and we didn’t we didn’t scare so easy…Huh. We were able to be all these things, and to do all these things, because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore.” -Will McAvoy
2. “I’m a marine, Don! I will beat the shit out of you, I don’t care how many protein bars you eat!” -Charlie Skinner
3. “Reclaiming the fourth estate. Reclaiming journalism as an honorable profession. A nightly newscast that informs a debate worthy of a great nation. Civility, respect, and a return to what’s important; the death of bitchiness; the death of gossip and voyeurism; speaking truth to stupid. No demographic sweet spot; a place where we all come together.” -Mackensie Mchale
4. “It’s a person. A doctor pronounces her dead, not the news.” -Don Keefer
5. “I’ve got a guy on my staff who got hit in the head with a glass door Thursday. His forehead wouldn’t stop bleeding, but he wouldn’t go to a doctor ’cause I got another guy who got beat up covering Cairo. And the first guy wouldn’t see a doctor until the second guy saw a doctor. I’ve got a producer who ran into a locked door ’cause he felt responsible for the second guy. I’ve got an 18-year-old kid risking his life halfway around the world. And the AP who sent him there? Hasn’t slept in three days. I’ve got 20-somethings who care about teachers in Wisconsin. I’ve got a grown woman who has to subtract with her fingers staying up all night trying to learn economics from a PhD who could be making 20 times the money three miles downtown. They’re journalists.” -Will McAvoy
6. “Captain, my name is Don Keefer. That’s Elliot Hirsch and that’s Sloan Sabbith. We work for Atlantis Cable News. And we wanted you and your first officer and Flight Attendant Crazy Lady to be the first ones on this plane to know that our armed forces killed Osama bin Laden for you tonight.” -Don Keefer to United Airlines Pilot
7. “It’s been nine years, seven months, and 20 days since America’s most wanted criminal took from us 2,977 American sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, friends and colleagues. We were transformed that morning into a different nation, more fearful and so, of course, more hostile. And while nothing, not even this victory our country has waited for such a long time, can bring back the souls lost on that terrible morning in New York City, in Virginia, in a field in Pennsylvania, and all across America and the world, let tonight serve as a welcome reminder that throughout our history, America’s darkest days have always been followed by its finest hours.” -Will McAvoy
8. “She’s insulting me, she’s insulting my family, she’s insulting my congregation, and she’s insulting my faith. She’s implying that Christians are imbeciles who will believe anything while reducing God to a party hack who endorses political candidates. Now, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is the first time since Moses that God has given direct instructions to someone other than His son. But if so, I think it deserves a follow-up.” -Maggie Jordan
9. “The greater fool is actually an economic term. The greater fool is a patsy. For the rest of us to profit, we need a greater fool, someone who will buy long and sell short. Most people spend their lives trying not to be the greater fool; we toss him the hot potato, we dive for his seat when the music stops. The greater fool is someone with the perfect blend of self-delusion and ego to think that he can succeed where others have failed. This whole country was made by greater fools.” -Sloan Sabbith
10. Jennifer: What makes America the greatest country in the world?
Will: You do.
11. “I call myself a Republican ’cause I am one. I believe in market solutions and I believe in common sense realities and the necessity to defend ourselves against a dangerous world and that’s about it. Problem is now I have to be homophobic. I have to count the number of times people go to church. I have to deny facts and think scientific research is a long con. I have to think poor people are getting a sweet ride. And I have to have such a stunning inferiority complex that I fear education and intellect in the 21st century. But most of all, the biggest new requirement, really the only requirement, is that I have to hate Democrats. And I have to hate Chris Christie for not spitting on the president when he got off Air Force One. The two-party system is crucial to the whole operation. There’s honor in being the loyal opposition. And I’m a Republican for the same reasons you are. So I hope your voice gets louder in the next four years.” -Will McAvoy
12. “There’s a story about a little kid who keeps shredding paper and his parents take him to all kinds of doctors to get him to stop shredding paper. And finally they take him to the most expensive doctor in the world who turns to the kid and he says, ‘Kid, if you stop shredding paper, your parents will stop dragging you to doctors.’ And the kid turns to his parents and says, ‘Why didn’t you just say so?'” -Will McAvoy
13. “You know who did great this week? The police. The FBI. The DOJ. Homeland Security. In less than 100 hours, they found two needles in a haystack the size of the world. You know who sucked? Everybody else. Two times in 24 hours, law enforcement officials had to publically disclose information before they wanted to because either a paper or website put someone’s life in danger. So I’m not so easily surrendering to citizen journalists or citizen detectives.” -Will McAvoy
14. “You’re using the word ‘journalism’ which means that there is an expectation that what they’re reading is true.” -Sloan Sabbith
15. “The law can acquit, the internet never will.” -Don Keefer
16. “It’s a website. It doesn’t have integrity.” -Will McAvoy
17. “A truth that matters can’t stay hidden.” -Neal Sampat
18. “We’re not going based on tweets from witnesses we can’t talk to. What credible news agency would do that?” -Mackensie Mchale
19. “If a news outlet doesn’t have credibility it doesn’t matter what else it has.” -Charlie Skinner
20. Will: Why does a politician take polls?
Sloan: To find out what people want him to say the next day.
21. Halliday: Fourteen months ago you went on the air and called the Tea Party the American Taliban.
Will: I did.
Halliday: And?
Will: The Taliban resented it.
22. “Who are we to make these decisions? We’re the media elite.” -Will McAvoy
23. “Except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.” -Will McAvoy