How To Help Your Friend With Anxiety

How To Help Your Friend With Anxiety

Throughout high school, I was friends with many people with anxiety. Unfortunately, back then I didn’t know how to support them. I always felt like such a bad friend because I had no idea what to do. Thankfully, I’ve learned some basic methods for helping friends cope with their anxiety since then. Hopefully they will be of use to you and your college friends! 

Do not tell them that it’s all in their head

Even though it’s not easy to see on the outside, anxiety is a very real problem that can affect how a person functions on a daily basis. One of the worst things you can do is dismiss a friend’s anxiety because you don’t understand it, or label it as an attitude problem with an easy fix. People suffering from anxiety usually find it very hard to control, so telling them that they just need to relax or think positively is condescending and not at all helpful.

Instead, let your friend know that you are willing to listen to them and that they are in a safe place when they talk to you. Learning about what triggers their anxiety and what helps them calm down will allow you to offer much needed support. Keep an open mind and be don’t be afraid to ask openly how you can be there for them.

Help them channel their anxiety in healthy ways

Although it can be nearly impossible to take someone’s anxiety away, there are some simple activities that can help alleviate it for awhile. Some that usually work include:

• Exercise (even something non-rigorous, like going for a walk)
• Yoga/meditation
• Arts and crafts
• Going for a drive
• Baking
• Doing something with your hands (puzzles, Silly Putty, etc.)
• Journaling

All of these take minimal effort but make a huge difference. Taking the time to slow down for a bit and divert their attention will do wonders for anyone with anxiety.

Be patient, but remember to look out for yourself

As much as you want to be there for your friend when they’re feeling anxious, it can sometimes be frustrating. Maybe you have had plans to go out all week, but now that the time is here they really aren’t up for leaving their room. Or maybe you’ve been sitting there listening to them talk about every single thing that they’re worried about today and you’ve had enough. On the one hand, you feel guilty for getting angry, but on the other, you want a break.

This is normal, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much for feeling this way. Remember that just as it’s important for you to look out for your friend, it’s important to look out for yourself. If there comes a point where you feel like your friendship has become more about taking care of the other person than a healthy, mutual give-and-take, then voice your concerns. Be sure to do it gently, in a way that doesn’t seem like you’re accusing them of intentionally doing something wrong. Be honest about what you’re feeling and make suggestions about how you can compromise. Good communication will make it easier.

Recommend professional help if necessary

Even if you do your very best to help your friend through their anxiety, they may require a professional’s help. This is especially true if you feel like anxiety has taken over their life or if you feel overwhelmed trying to support them. Seeing a someone professionally might help your friend learn proper coping mechanisms or give them access to beneficial medication.

If you think that your friend would benefit from seeing a therapist, don’t try to push them if they seem uncomfortable. Getting help is a very personal choice, and it’s not something that can be forced. In the event they do decide to go, it might help if you offer to go along to the first couple therapy sessions for moral support. The most important thing to remember is to let your friend go at their own pace.

Be there

One of the most important things you can do for your friend with anxiety is remind them that they are not alone. This is so important, because anxiety has a tendency to make people feel like something is wrong with them or that they’re unworthy in some way. Remind your friend that you will stand by them no matter what. Remind them that you love them on their worst as much as their good days.