If You Never Try Then You’ll Never Know
Long distance relationships might possibly have the worst reputation in the dating world. As soon as you mention to someone that you are doing long distance, they get that look of concern on their face that screams, “I’m so sorry in advance for your devastating breakup.” It is generally accepted that long distance just does not work no matter who you are.
The problem is that this idea automatically sets a negative tone to any long distance relationship. As if being apart from your significant other isn’t hard enough, you also have that little voice in your head telling you what everyone else tells you: this is going to fail. Psychologically speaking, if you think something is going to crash and burn, it probably will. So why do we sabotage a potentially good thing? We live in a world full of instant gratification. In fact, we don’t have to wait for anything anymore. Technology is more advanced than we ever could have imagined and enables us to get what we want when we want it. Naturally, we apply this to our relationships as well. The thought of having to wait to see our significant others is too much to handle, so we simply don’t do it. People will tell horror stories of cheating scandals and lies in an attempt to scare you out of even attempting to make distance work. The reality is that people are unfaithful, break each other’s hearts, and treat each other badly with or without distance. It’s the ugly truth that any relationship could fail. On the flip side, however, the opposite is also true. Any relationship could work. Effort is everything and all the obstacles in the world can be overcome as long as both people are putting in equal effort.
When we get into a relationship, we know that nothing is guaranteed. That doesn’t prevent us from giving it a shot and we develop the attitude of, “this might not last, but it might, so I’ll see how it goes.” The same thought can be applied to long distance. Of course, distance makes things harder than the average relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Every relationship will have its own unique challenges in whatever form they may take, which is simply an unavoidable part of life. The amount that we care about the relationship and the person is what determines our success.
If you are in a long distance relationship, try not to get completely discouraged. Although it may seem scary and overwhelming, there are many silver linings that people don’t realize. When you see your significant other every day, you can fall into a routine and it becomes harder to keep the excitement going. With long distance, every time you do see each other is a bigger deal. You get to plan all your visits and look forward to the next time you will see each other. Many couples also run into the problem of becoming too dependent on one another. When you are in a long distance relationship, you are forced to grow as an independent person because you don’t have someone to run to at all times. It might be frustrating that you can’t see them whenever you want, but it might also be a blessing in disguise and can make for an even stronger relationship.
A relationship that involves long distance also needs to involve a lot more effort and trust than the typical relationship. We make time for the things that we want and in a situation like this, you really have to want it in order for it to work. If you commit to being in a long distance relationship, it is because you both know you feel strongly about one another, or else you wouldn’t be doing it. There truly is no better feeling than seeing someone’s face light up after all the time they have spent missing you.
At the end of the day, your person is out there and you have no idea who they will be. The world works in mysterious ways and sometimes things are just meant to happen a certain way. If there’s a chance someone might be the one for you, wouldn’t you want to find out?