How to navigate politics during Thanksgiving

After a controversial election, Thanksgiving conversations can seem nerve-wracking. Family relationships are important, so it is key to have respectful conversions at the dinner table on Thanksgiving.

About six-in-10 adults have said having political discussions they disagree with is “stressful and frustrating,” according to a Pew Research Center survey. 

To avoid these stressful and difficult situations, here are some ways to navigate your conversations. 

1. Be curious and know the purpose of the conversation. 

It is important to know the intention of why you are having the conversation and not lose that purpose. Try to listen and understand why someone might feel one way, instead of attempting to argue with them or change their perspective. The purpose is to listen to understand, not respond.

“If you’re coming in thinking you’re going to convince someone else to think differently than they already are, you’ve already lost the plot,” clinic director of the Center for Healthy Families, Tiara Fennell said. “Instead of talking about who you voted for, let me understand why you voted for them.”

2. Set clear conversation expectations. 

Take into account who you might not align with in your family. It is best to stay away from having a political conversation with them. If you already know how they feel, you cannot expect it to change during Thanksgiving. 

“You know your family; you know who’s showing up to dinner for the most part and you can’t expect anything different from people than what they have already shown you, ” Fennell said. 

3. Address someone’s perspective, not the person.

 Remind yourself that it is the perspective, not the person, that you dislike. A disagreement over politics should not have to do with a specific person. This can help avoid personal attacks on someone.

“Other peoples’ words hurt less when you remember that they are not the authority on who you are,”

Assistant Professor of Family Science at UMD, Amy A. Morgan said.

4. Walk away if you need to. 

Taking yourself away from the situation can prevent disagreements. There are many ways to separate yourself from the discussion that are respectful and mature.

“Have a statement in your back pocket if you need to walk away,” Morgan said. “‘Since our relationship is important to me, I would like to take a break from the conversation to take a few deep breaths.’ Be active and/or outside-even just 10 minutes outside of walking can go a long way, do a breathing or mindfulness exercise or connect socially to someone who calms you.”

In summary, it is essential to have civil, respectful talks during Thanksgiving dinner because, at the end of the day, everyone is there to spend time with one another and eat delicious food.

• family
• politics
• thanksgiving