Tons of guides exist to help people have good relationships, recognize bad relationships and run from relationships where things are just plain ugly. But what are the tried and true tips for navigating the good, the bad and the ugly?
Be Honest, Never Lie
It seems obvious, but honesty is the best policy to adopt in any relationship. Even a little white lie has the potential to wreak havoc on a relationship.
Be disarmingly honest, says Molly Triffin in her Cosmopolitan article, “How To Totally Rock a First Date.” “If you talk to a guy with the same unguarded ease you have when chatting with a pal, you’ll loosen up and things will flow better,” she said.
When you tell “a few little white lies to impress him, you’re setting yourself up for a crash,” said Ashley Womble in her Cosmopolitan article, “The Secret to an Amazing Relationship.”
“In a romantic relationship I would never want to not be trusted,” said sophomore hearing and speech sciences major Kimberly Wilson. “I think that honesty and trust is so important. Even though it’s super hard to be honest sometimes, there’s no point of moving forward when something’s always going to be holding you back.”
Chit-chat and Converse
How many times have you heard that communication is key? It’s true. Light-hearted chats and important conversations keep friendships and romances afloat.
Conversation is powerful- it can make or break a date. “My best date was when my best friend and I went out to a Middle Eastern restaurant near his apartment,” said Wilson. “We got there at six and the next thing we knew it was 9 pm. Conversation was great, nothing was awkward.”
“A good date has no awkward silences,” said sophomore marketing major Meghan Scanlon. “If you can have good conversation and enjoy doing the little things, it is a great date.”
Avoiding the tough talks is never a wise idea. A notable relationship screw-up, according to the Cosmopolitan article, “The 13 Best Relationship Tips Ever,” is to never argue. “By not addressing a problem, it probably won’t be resolved. Explain how you’re feeling, give him a chance to respond and don’t let it devolve into an insult bout.”
Try to stay positive when tackling rough communication. “A good relationship is positive where, if conflict does arise, you’re able to talk things out without the other person jumping to conclusions,” said freshman letters and sciences major Leah Bulka.
“It’s also a smart idea to sandwich your complaint between two positive statements,” said Yvonne Thomas, a psychologist in the Cosmopolitan article, “When Your BFF Makes You Crazy.”
Relax, Enjoy the Moment
Be yourself and be in the moment. It is as simple as that.
On dates – “Ultimate disaster date would be if I was really nervous the whole time, so much that I couldn’t be myself,” said Wilson. “When I get really nervous I tend to focus on the nervousness instead of focusing on the situation, which can totally ruin the night.”
In a relationship – Never dwell on past relationships, stay focused on the present. It’s not a smart move to compare ex’s to current lovers. Carly Stern and Ruby Madren-Britton warn in a Glamour article, “What not to say when your man can’t perform: ‘Wow, this never happened with my ex.’”
In friendships – If your friend doesn’t support who you are, they aren’t worth your time. “When criticism and put downs are a regular part of your conversations this is not a friendship that will enhance your emotional health,” said Ann Smith in the Psychology Today article, “Toxic Friends: When Friendships Are No Longer Healthy.”
“One of my best friendship moments involved my very best friend reminding me of my self worth,” said Bulka. “It was nice because she always knew how I was feeling without me having to tell her.”
Get Physical
Touch can work magic in a variety of relationships. “I love when a woman touches my arm on a first date. It feels so good — it’s like a boundary gets broken, a wall gets knocked down and suddenly, it’s less uncomfortable; we’re friends,” said comedy writer Micheal Jann in the Cosmopolitan article, “Perfect Your First-Date Mojo.”
“Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level,” said psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith in “The 13 Best Relationship Tips Ever.“
Money Matters
It may seem odd, but finances are important and should never be ignored in any type of relationship. “I really do appreciate it whenever a woman offers to split the check,” said Jann.
“My worst date was a blind double date. My date needed help paying for his meal,” said Scanlon. “Even if it’s awkward, you need to discuss who should pay for what and how much both of you can afford,” according to “The 13 Best Relationship Tips Ever.”
Relationships are never easy. But with these word for the wise, you can have smoother sailing through the good, the bad and the ugly situations.