We’ve all been there at some point. You’re dating someone, it’s going really well, and you don’t want to make any mistakes. What’s a girl to do? Be cool.
Steer clear of these 5 mistakes many women make in the early phases.
1.) Don’t invest too quickly, but be prepared to discuss “what you are.”
One of the most important parts of a good relationship is reciprocation. It’s usually not a good decision to invest too quickly in any guy, unless you see that he is making the same investment in you. Some people move more quickly into full-blown relationships than others, and if that’s you and your boyfriend, more power to you. The point is that all of us have to calibrate how much we give our guys. If you give too much too soon, you have to also be prepared for some hurt when he doesn’t give back to you. In a new relationship, it can be hard to discuss concepts like exclusivity and commitment, but you’re going to have to go there if you want the relationship to be special. Give it some time, but bridge the “us” conversation sooner, rather than later.
2.) Don’t plan your schedule around him.
Come on ladies, this is the 21st century. You are at no man’s beck and call. Yes, you like him, but you also need to let your new guy know that you have a life outside of the time you spend together. This makes you more interesting to him. Plus, unless he’s told you otherwise, you don’t know if he considers you to be at the top of his list. So, don’t be too hasty to put him at the top of yours. Trust me, you’ll leave him wanting more, especially if the time you give him is electric. You may not always be available when he contacts you for a date, but that’s a good thing.
3.) Don’t always be the first one to call or text.
It’s perfectly acceptable for a female to make the first move, but don’t make this a habit. Just think, wouldn’t you rather be pursued? Women have to let men be men. It’s not necessarily old fashioned. Actually, it’s biological. Guys instinctively are hunters. They like a chase. So, let yourself be a prize to be won. Certainly, don’t wait by the phone and constantly check in for new messages- just do Y-O-U. Live your life, and see if he calls. This is one way for you to know he’s been thinking about you.
4.) Don’t play mind games.
Standing strong is good, while playing mind games is bad. Most guys hate mind games. So, don’t toy with his emotions. One constant complaint guys have about women is that they think we expect them to be mind-readers. Remember that most guys do not have the same level of intuition that we do. This is one of the differences between the genders. Guys want clear communication from us, so don’t dance around topics. Be straight to the point.
5.) Don’t diss him.
Understand that the male ego can be very fragile, particularly when a guy is in a relationship. All guys want their girl to be their number one supporter. All of us need to remember that one negative comment equals at least ten positive comments, often even more.
Remember, in dating, keep your expectations low and your standards high. You’re less likely to be disappointed and more likely to be pleasantly surprised with what life throws at you. Good luck, collegiettes!
@julitacardenas