It’s easy to say we’re strong, independent women until we’re figuratively, or even literally, smacked in the face with reality. If there’s nothing else that I gain from my college experience, I hope to become a stronger person. I’ve never really thought of myself as weak until facing certain situations. Whether it be involvement in drama, rejection, or just cases of having my feelings hurt, it’s easy to constantly want to break down and surrender.
How can we truly become stronger people? How do we rise above petty drama? Why can’t we love ourselves for who we are instead of what we think we should be? Here’s some tips on how we can answer these questions and realize that we are indeed stronger than we feel.
1) Face Important Issues Head On
Someone says something offensive and hurtful to you? Tell them that it was offensive and hurtful! People have no business walking all over you and you have no business allowing them to. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. We need to learn to fight our own battles; it’s going to make us stronger in the long run. However, this doesn’t mean that we should get into a full on war every time someone says something to us that we don’t like. We need to pick and choose which battles we wish to face and believe are significant. In many cases, you won’t feel much better right after standing up for yourself. You’ll feel worthless and defeated, and that’s okay. These feelings will pass and you will soon realize that you did what was right for you at the time. Whatever personal issues the other person is dealing with is something they need to work out themselves and should in no way affect you. Never let another person allow you to feel like your feelings don’t deserve validation.
2) Stop Caring So Much
Whether a negative situation is something new or ongoing, it can be very frustrating when you can tell that the other person involved just flat out doesn’t care. You’ve tried to tell them what’s bothering you and he or she still doesn’t get it. This is when you need to tell yourself that it just isn’t worth it; the battle is past the point of being fought. They clearly don’t care, so why should you? There’s no point driving yourself crazy over someone else’s crazy nature. It’s really hard to let certain things go, no matter how small they may be. However, in the long run, you will thank yourself that you did.
3) Replace Negative with Positive
This may sound super basic, but it’s important. If feelings of anger and bitterness creep up, do something productive to replace those feelings. Knock out a paper that you’ve been putting off, go for a run, deep clean your bathroom: something to take your mind off of the negative. If we’re putting all of our energy into something worth our while, we’re prohibiting the drama, self-doubt, and other junk from taking over.
4) Surround Yourself with Good People
It’s a no brainer. If you’re constantly hanging around people that make you feel like poo, get away from them! If it’s someone you work with and have to be with frequently, refer above to 1, 2, and 3. Something I’ve realized in college is that good friends are so important. It’s cliché, but true when people say that your friendships can either “make” or “break” you. It’s hard to trust people and believe me; I totally get that first hand. When you make true friends, you will somehow just know and have a true sense of peace.
5) Don’t Ever Feel Alone
…because you aren’t! One of my favorite verses is Psalm 23:4. It’s a pretty well known verse, but haunts me, in a good way, every time I hear it: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” I repeat this over and over in my head when I am in times of confrontation, fear, or sadness, “You are with me.” Whether you believe it or not, God is with you, comforting you, protecting you, and giving you the strength and bravery that it takes to overcome all things.
Remember: You are strong. You are brave. You are loved.