I have a saying that I use to help me through all aspects of life: don’t force it. My only corollary is that I also don’t get in the way of it from happening. “It” can be anything from a promotion to a meaningful relationship. This saying is different from others, such as everything happens for a reason. The key to my saying – I use “my” loosely because I haven’t copyrighted it or anything – is that the reason for why something happens is less relevant than that it happened on its own, with no unnecessary, external forces. I have used this phrase to guide myself through college applications, relationships, and job searches. (So pretty much, the things that all collegiettes can relate to.) I’ve even used this phrase to get me through tougher life struggles, such as being diagnosed with a chronic illness, and I still use it now that I’m in remission. I owe all my successes to my saying, and as I look back at all that I have accomplished and learned, I realize that you truly can’t force what matters.
Keep in mind that this phrase doesn’t pertain to a necessarily religious or even spiritual point of view. You can have any religious beliefs – or a lack thereof – and still understand and apply this way of thinking to your life because it’s based on trust: trust in yourself, trust that you have what it takes to accomplish your goal, that you are equipped and prepared enough for that endeavor. But wait, you say. You have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet, right? To an extent, yes, but it has more to do with “not getting in the way” than anything else.
Take for example applying to colleges. Unlike 98% of high school seniors, I had only applied to one school (which, spoiler alert, was Marymount University in case you missed the banner) and I had zero backup plan. Marymount was the college I wanted to go to. Every box I had was checked off: I loved the campus, my academic program, student life, its location, everything. I didn’t really see a reason to apply anywhere else. Why waste my time with applying for other schools?
On top of that, I knew I would be responsible for funding my own education, so I was also applying for a full ride scholarship. Again, I had no alternative. I put all my faith and energy in getting into Marymount and getting the scholarship, but even with all that on the line, I didn’t freak out or get desperate. Of course there was work involved, but most of it consisted of being a good student, writing strong essays, getting positive recommendation letters and the like. However, these were all things that I would have done even if I were applying to a school that didn’t matter to me or a scholarship that I didn’t need. Nevertheless, after I turned in all my documents, I put my future in their (read: my admissions counselor’s) hands. I trusted that all I had done up to this point in my life would carry me through this process. Long story short (well, short-ish) it worked. I not only got accepted to the university, but I was also awarded a scholarship that covered four years of tuition and room & board. In retrospect, I feel that if I had decided to apply to other universities, my attention would have been diverted from my dream school and would have detracted from achieving my actual goal.
For the sake of conciseness, I’m only recounting one instance, but believe me when I say I have many more situations where I found something I wanted – and I mean truly wanted – and went for it with all that I had – and now I have it, but ultimately having let it happen on its own. Some other instances are currently ongoing, such as my search for an internship. I have every intention to intern at one particular organization, but there weren’t even any postings or openings. So far it’s going well. (I have an interview next week. Wish me luck!)
It’s easy to explain it as a goal that was accomplished, but in reality it is much more than that: I see it as me fulfilling my purpose. The universe is giving me little hints, but I have to be open to see them. Once I lock eyes with these subtleties, the universe reveals more of my purpose. It’s less of a spiritual notion, and more of one that is natural and organic – ironically I’m pretty much indifferent about organic food.
There’s a song that resonated with me the second I heard it called “Lucky One” by Nico Vega. More precisely, there is a verse in the song that resonated with me. It reflects that organic idea that I use to justify my actions (or a lack of any): “Here we are in the experience, and if you still want more than you ain’t living it, and if you still want more than you ain’t feeling it.”
I believe that we are all given the tools necessary to fulfill our destinies, but it is our job to find them and use them correctly. These tools are often abstract, such as a desire to learn or having a unique ability, but they could be more concrete, like a talent or skill that you can physically show and apply. What those tools are might differ for every person; regardless, it is our job – yours and mine – to embrace them as they’re shown to us and follow the path the universe has paved for us.