Ever since I got here I spend a lot of my time trying to read people. When you move to a country that isn’t yours or not even remotely close to yours (geographically or socially), you start using this tactic as a basic survival skill. This also helps when you’re trying to find your place and avoid feeling like an outcast. I’m not saying that I’m Paul Lightman in Lie to Me and that I can read you like a book. However, you do get to learn a lot about a person when he/she does all the talking and you simply examine the way they express themselves. Maybe the guy you thought was into you actually likes someone else or that really close girlfriend, the one you tell everything to is only friends with you because of some ulterior motive.
So here are some tips I’ve learnt through reading people and found useful during my stay here. First, stay away from negative people. Why? Elementary, my dear Watson. Whether you have a positive or neutral way of thinking, a negative state of mind is always tempting. Mostly because it’s easy to be negative. We all complain. We’ve all said nasty things about our neighbours. We’ve all had that one person in our minds who we’ve blamed for our pitfalls or problems. If, on the other hand, you’ve never felt this way, I have a simple message for you: you’re not human!
Next, avoid people who generalize. Now, I didn’t get this a lot as an exchange student. Actually, you can see their faces bright up with surprise and intrigue they learn this about you. Nonetheless, this slowly fades away when they learn you study management. What did you do, Bronfman? Why are we so disliked by our fellow McGillians? Bronfmanites, Bronfman high… To all of you who study something other than management, I want to put this out there: we’re not all the same. This bothers me the most because as an exchange student, I’m technically not a “Bronfmanite” and yet I get called that. I’m here just as a passerby. In May I’ll go back to my home university to graduate. Nevertheless, I absolutely hate it when strangers place me in the same box as others, whether it’s management or exchange students. I’m not saying that I’m a saint. I too stereotype. But, the difference remains that I use them to joke around with, not to be taken seriously. I’ve met people with genuine hatred for management students. So my suggestion is this: don’t get involved with these people. You’ll end up being like them and probably lose a lot of worthwhile friends along the way.
There are obviously certain people whose negative intentions you can’t pinpoint until it’s too late. I can’t help out with these ones, but I sure wish I could. Conversely, I can tell you one thing, trust your instincts. If someone is giving you a bad vibe, stay away. Most of us “feel” certain things about another person, but when asked what, we don’t have a definite answer. Usually we can’t put our finger on whatever makes us feel that way. Learn from me; I get these vibes all the time and always decide to ignore them. Consequently, I always get into trouble or in some sort of drama. Sadly, I was trying to avoid this from the very beginning. These “vibes” or instincts have been studied time and time again by people trying to find out why we have them. Long story short: trust them. Sigmund Freud knew better. If you get a weird vibe, don’t stop yourself from getting to know the person. However, keep your distance and be careful.
Photos Retrieved from: http://konwersatorium3.blogspot.ca/2014/01/body-language-and-micro-expre… and http://appsych.mrduez.com/p/notes.html.