This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at McGill chapter.

The 67th Emmy Awards finally arrived! They came. They saw. They looked amazing, if not for some major fashion slip-ups. They won awards. It was a splendid, if not over-wrought, night for all.

So to start things off, the red carpet: where celebrities put on make-up, designer garb, and parade around for photographers in sweltering late-September LA heat. Unfortunately, my cable does not provide me with E!, so I missed out on Ryan Seacrest saying stupid and occasionally offensive things to the stars, which started my night off with a bit of disappointment. In the meantime, I was glued to my computer, settling in for a long judging session. For two hours I constantly refreshed the page to see the pictures of all of the arrivals, with Gilmore Girls season 5 blaring in the background. While Rory and Logan were jumping with umbrellas and shouting Latin phrases, I was audibly sighing in grief or shrieking with delight based on the respective appearance of various actors and actresses. What is the point of a red carpet if not for us to mock? Because some people looked downright hideous.

Others did not.

I was able to catch a few clips here and there of red carpet coverage, one of Titus Burgess singing “Pinot Noir” made me especially cheerful. However, if there is one thing that drives me up a wall more than a celeb with bad taste, it’s when they get asked who designed their very expensive clothing and they say: “Um… (Insert desginer’s name here)! Did I say that right? (Insert maniacal rich person laughter here.)” Excuse me? As a partially penniless university student sitting on my Ikea couch in a Victoria’s Secret pajama set that I bought for $30 on sale, I am offended by the fact that you cannot properly pronounce something you are getting paid to wear.

Back to the fashion of the night, similar to the entire evening, everything on the style front was fairly average. Nothing too hideous nor too beautiful. My favorite was Lady Gaga, wearing Brandon Maxwell. Any other star in that gown would have been downright dismal, but Gaga has a way of making seemingly plain pieces spectacular.

As they wrapped up the red carpet, which overlapped with Fox’s “Football Sunday” and Rob Lowe, for whatever reason, sitting at the sports cast table, shamlessly plugging his new show, the show finally kicked off! (That was a football reference, FYI.) It started off with a song, as these things tend to do, about Andy Samberg locking himself in a bunker until he watched every single show that exists. That is kind of my dream, so it was quite fun!

The opening monologue was exactly what I was expecting, lousy with off-colour Bill Cosby and Donald Trump jokes. He also poked fun at the issue of gender, race, and pay gaps that continue to riddle the television industry of today, despite its seeming improvement as television currently has “the most diversity it’s ever had.”

Andy Samberg’s voice kind of grates on me, reminding me a bit of a bicyle horn being projected through a funnel and jammed inside my head, but I surpisingly enjoyed it! So did the audience, which is always a coup. He gave shout-outs to all of the nominees, and as per protocol, they scanned the audience reactions. This shot of Lena Headey after a Mad Men joke is my personal favourite:

The first two presenters of the night Amy Schumer and Amy Poehler (who both won honorary awards for “Amys whose last names I had to google the correct spellings of”), were so sweet and cute that I felt like I had just consumed an entire bag of powdered sugar. They presented the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy to queen of The West Wing Allison Janney, who of course sang half of her acceptance speech.

HBO’s political satire Veep then accepted an immensely well-deserved Emmy for Best Writing for a Comedy. If you are not watching it, you need to. The next Emmy went to Veep‘s Tony Hale for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy. He is so cute, and started the ball rolling for members of the Bluth family to win.

As the night dragged along I thought to myself why that was. I have no explanation, I just know that I was passed out on my couch with my eyes having to be pinned open à la A Clockwork Orange.

Creator of Amazon Prime’s truly gorgeous, moving, and hilarious Transparent, Jill Soloway, snagged Best Director of a Comedy for her work. Here I am again, sounding like a broken Apple Music Subscription (relevance, people), but it was incredibly well-deserved.

It was the night of ridiculous comedic bits, and Jimmy Kimmel was a part of that, eating the winner part of the Emmy envelope. After cutting out the name and shoving it into his mouth, he decided that Jeffrey Tambor was the winner of Best Actor in a Comedy for his poignant portrayal of transgendered Maura Pfefferman. It was a great night if you were on Arrested Development! He dedicated his award to the Transgender community. That man is a class act. He is incredible on Transparent, and I loved him in Eloise at the Plaza, also.

I only had about a half page of notes at this point in the broadcast because everything had been too sentimental and important to snark about. Seth Meyers and Andy Samberg decided to present Lorne Michaels with a “World’s Best Boss” mug, seeing as he had worked with over 40 of the nominees that night. They wanted to present him with the actual award for best boss, but after opening the envelope, they joked that it went to Shonda Rhimes. These bits fell flat for me, personally. Award show bits are like when your friend’s parents joke with you. It isn’t that they are actually horribly unfunny, but you simply laugh out of awkwardness/politeness.

The next Emmy was for Best Actress in a Comedy, and the last chance for Amy Poehler to win an Emmy for her charming performance as Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. She wanted to show that she was too cool to care, proving that she is just perfect in everyway.

The award actually went to the superhuman that is Julia-Louis Dreyfus, who mocked Donald Trump so eloquently in her acceptance speech. I swear the woman does not age at all. She is amazing on Veep, but I think she deserved an Emmy for doing those ridiculous Old Navy commercials.

We finally got to the Reality category, and comedy duo Key and Peele presented the award for Best Reality Competion to The Voice. Okay, so, that host is just a smidge too smug for my taste and who the heck even watches that show? I am serious. Does anybody reading this watch The Voice? If so, how does it feel to have the television taste of a 2000’s era mother of three? Project Runway will forever have my vote, because it convinced me many years ago that I do not have what it takes to be a fashion designer and to give up on that pipe dream. Also, Tim Gunn is my hero.

The Limited Series or Movie category is up now and I am just losing steam here. My hilarity and snark-colored glasses that I typically wear while watching award shows are all smudgy. What is a limited series? Aren’t all series “limited” series as they are on television for a limited time (except Grey’s Anatomy which will be on the air until long after I am gone)? I was so pleased that later that night John Oliver expressed the same sentiment, but with an English accent so it was far cleverer.

Everyone’s favourite crazy aunt, Jane Anderson/Amelia Bedilia, started the Olive Kitteridge sweep of this category by winning for Best Writing.

Regina King took home an Emmy for Best Actress in a Limited Series, looking absolutely flawless. She seemed to be one of the few starlets who decided to do her hair for the event. I do not get the look of unkempt hair when you are in thousands of dollars worth of couture. I kind of wanted Sarah Paulson to win, because she has deserved it for years. I mean come on:

What more does the woman have to do to win an Emmy?

Anyways, I will not bore you with the details, but Olive Kitteridge took home the rest of the Emmy’s in this category. Bill Murray was not there to accept his award because he is freaking Bill Murray and probably hanging out with Wes Anderson or doing something equally awesome. Frances McDormand gave the most Frances McDormand-y speech ever. Richard Jenkins, of Six Feet Under-fame, was starstruck by the fact that Lady Gaga handed him an award. It was adorable. If this taught me anything it was that I have to start watching Olive Kitteridge. Goodbye, weekend.

Then, the kid from The Princess Bride (Hey, Fred Savage!) introduced us the spoilers-filled montage of all of the shows that ended this year. It saved me from having to finish so many shows. It also forced me to relive the finale of The Colbert Report which left me an absolute wreck. Thanks, Emmys! You’re the best!

They then spoofed the Mad Men finale, accidentally killing Parks and Recreation’s Jim O’Heir in the process. Like I said, a night of sub-par bits.

So I guess the Limited Series category wasn’t quite finished yet, because we were somehow back on it. They may have been presenting the awards to limited series, but they were taking an unlimited amount of time to do it. (I am so funny, guys. Please laugh.) Olive Kitteridge scored yet another Emmy for Best Limited Series and accepting the award on behalf of the show was Frances McDormand. The producer of the show was feeding her the names of everyone that needed to be thanked, and it was like a big metaphor for how I feel all the time. We are all Frances McDormand, we just don’t know it yet.

Now this thing is running longer than Forrest Gump, but the Apple Music commercial featuring Kerry Washington, Taraji P. Henson, and Mary J. Blige dancing around gave me life.

It is the Variety category now! Mindy Kaling looked refreshing in a bright tangerine as she presented the Best Writing award to The Daily Show. Jon Stewart himself didn’t accept the award, proving to the world he really is done. The Best Variety Show went to Inside Amy Schumer. Amy thanked the person who did her smoky-eye, once again proving she’s just a regular gal who made it in the biz. (That’s show business talk, right?)

Just to be clear, I know most of you have checked out of this article at this point. Imagine watching the thing. I am editing this down for you. You should be thanking me. Okay, moving on, Colin Hanks! Anyone who knows me knows I have this odd obsession with Colin Hanks because for years I didn’t know his dad was Tom.

LL Cool J wore a hat (shocker) and presented both Best Directing and Best Talk Show went to The Daily Show. Jon will be missed.

The last category of the evening, Drama, finally rolled in. Ben McKenzie (Ryan Atwood from The O.C.) came out and I just started crying. I am not sure if was because I was so exhausted or because I was happy the night was almost over.

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss snatched the Emmy for Best Writing for the Game of Thrones episode “Mother’s Mercy”. (Reference point: It was the episode where a nun followed a naked woman through the streets and shouted “Shame!” at her. It was amazing and I suggest watching it.) Dan swore and David’s reaction shot was priceless. David Nutter, the director of this episode, also took home an Emmy for his work.

Best Supporting Actress went to Uzo Aduba for Orange is the New Black. Uzo won the award last year for the same character, however, the acadamy changed the category of her show from comedy to drama. Her speech was incredibly eloquent and she looked gorgeous. Well done.

Best Supporting Actor went to Peter Dinklage for the undefinable accent he does on Game of Throne. I kid, he’s swell.

Then the downer of the In Memorium; lots of really awesome people passed away this year.

Now, the moment we have all been waiting for, when Jon Hamm finally gets the Emmy he deserves for the beautiful and incredible work he did for 8 years on Mad Men. I was crying, despite the fact that he comically crawled onto the stage. He thanked his recent ex, Jennifer Westfedlt, which was a classy move, because he is the epitome of class. He deserved the Emmy years ago when he guest-starred Gilmore Girls as a boring date, but it is nice that he is receiving recognition now. That’s all that counts.

Viola Davis then changed history and gave the most moving speech after winning Best Actress in a Drama for How to Get Away with Murder. She is a queen, because she’s fabulous and lovely, but we also need to acknowledge that she could demolish all of us if she wanted to. Bow down.

Veep then broke the unbelieveable winning streak of Modern Family by cleaning up the Comedy category by winning Best Comedy. I say unbelieveable because that show is not that good. Enjoyable? Yes. Deserved of any kind of accolade? Absolutely not.

After all this amazing stuff happened, another amazing thing occured when Tracy Morgan walked out on stage to present the award for Best Drama. Tracy suffered brain damage and spent time in a comma after being in a serious car accident 15 months ago. It was so great to see him back on his feet. Best Drama went to Game of Thrones, proving that fantasy shows are capable of winning over the oft conservative Emmy voters and breaking the record with 12 Emmy wins overall.

Concluding thoughts: This award show was the most medium award show ever. Despite the history that was made with the wins, it was the vanilla ice cream of award shows. It isn’t particularly spectacular, but it isn’t terrible either. For a complete list of winners, see here.

Until the Golden Globes, darlings.

Telling It Like It Was: An Honest Emmy’s Recap

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