Like many other viewers, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I chose “Turning Red” for movie night with my partner. However, it only took a few minutes into the movie for the both of us to be thrown back to our own childhoods. Meilin Lee is a confident 13-year-old trying to find her own way in the world (or rather, find her way to an NSYNC*-style boyband concert) while navigating her role as a Chinese-Canadian daughter. Like all girls her age, she turns into a giant red panda whenever she feels any strong emotion (well, maybe not all girls, but I definitely thought it was relatable). It’s a heartwarming coming-of-age story about girlhood, feminine friendship, and the complexities of balancing the person you want to be and the person your parents expect you to be.
The setting of the movie made me feel right at home. Set in Toronto’s vibrant China Town, Mei’s hometown is filled with references to Canadian life, whether it be a box of Tim Bits on her breakfast table or a sign referencing Canada Computers and Electronics in the background of her commute. Recognizing so many familiar staples in the environment helped me to see the other things in Mei’s life that we shared. I remembered the first time I wrote fan fiction and viscerally felt the pain of Mei’s mother finding her own fan art. I smiled at Abby using her Korean to express her enthusiasm, recalling how I used to employ mine as I began to learn the language. I laughed when Mei finally went to the 4*Town concert with her friends because I remembered the uncontrollable excitement of being a teenager and seeing your favourite boyband in person.
But “Turning Red” didn’t only remind me of the joys of being a carefree teenager. The film shines when it features the difficult times, namely between Meilin and her family. When Mei is unsuccessful in convincing her parents to let her go to the concert, she puts on a strained smile to show she respects their decision but is unable to contain an exasperated sigh as she walks away. I must have sighed in a similar way since my partner turned to me with a laugh and asked “Is that you?”.
Mei helped me realize that while this experience was relatable to me, it wasn’t only me who has walked away frustrated and unable to exert their independence because their mothers say “It’s them I don’t trust”, them being any combination of non-family members. Despite being a model child – getting perfect grades, never going out, and actively participating in the family business – Mei is always carefully watched and criticized by her mother for not being perfect enough. And when Mei refuses to conform to the desires of her mother, the frustration becomes unbearable, resulting in an intergenerational conflict that is instantly recognizable to Asian families across the continent.
Despite this, Mei still loves her mom. Seeing the broken inner child of her mother, Mei forgives her. Children (young and old) of Asian parents can learn from Mei, recognizing the inner child in their parents who was also hurt. Asian parents also have a lesson to learn, seeing their own children in Mei and how becoming her own person doesn’t change her love for her family.
Critics of the film are missing the point. This is a story about a girl going through complex feelings. A young teenager, she wants to have fun with her friends and be herself while not disappointing those she loves, a theme to which most kids can relate. Mei’s disobedience comes from an intergenerational struggle to find independence and identity, which is increasingly relevant in a political landscape where book bans in schools and prohibitions of gender-affirming care for teens are more and more common. “Turning Red” is a hug for people like me who experienced the joys and pains of self-discovery, and a lesson for parents not to hug their kids too tight.