1
I haven’t laughed in decades. Centuries. A millennium. It feels gritty against my tongue, it gets caught in my throat. I remember it being so easy.
What about happiness?
Happiness?
When was the last time you felt truly happy?
HappyâŠ
Surely there must have been a time?
Iâm sure there must have been. A time so deliriously, mindlessly happy. And itâs here somewhere floating around. I just canâtâŠit feelsâŠit feels like the beach.
The beach?
On the beach, there are miles and miles of sand. Hundreds of millions of grains of sand. Hundreds of millions of seconds of time. All this time all around. But as soon as I try and hold onto those times, they slip through my fingers.
Were you ever happy?
Maybe I was. Maybe Iâm happy right now, but Iâm so very much used to being happy that I can no longer hold it. Itâs grained so fine, worn so sheer. I can just barely feel it, its warmth.
Nothing feels wrong to you?
Nothing feels. Iâm just very numb.
Why so sad?
Not sad. The world has just become too familiar. Such is life.
Are you–?
Okay. Just barely enough, but okay. But thatâs all right. Because âjust barely enoughâ is okay. Just barely enough means alive.
2
âHow beautiful,â I whisper, âthe stars. Shining, for me.â
3
I didn’t want to jump, I felt that would be too dramatic. So, I stepped closerâŠand closerâŠand closerâŠright up to the edge until only my heels were bound to something tangible. It was only a matter of seconds before I let goâŠso I let goâŠ
…And I flew.
Image Credits:
https://www.stocksy.com/189911/sand-falling-through-fingers