Every woman in the entire world would be lying if they said they never had a self esteem issue. I would say about 99.9 percent of women have felt poorly about themselves physically and mentally. I’ve struggled with self esteem since middle school, similar to the mass majority of women. I still struggle today, however, I made a book of rules for myself that are the “No Man’s Land,” that prevent going down the low self esteem hill.
Rule #1: Surround yourself with friends that truly care for you, not frenemies
Let’s face it, everyone is a villian in someone’s story. However, you have to decide whether or not to be a supporting actress or the leading role in your story. I believe that everyone has to pick their friends wisely, so as soon as you feel less than in a friendship or relationship, it would be time to distance yourself or to limit the time you have with that person. This will help you to feel more confident away from negativity.
Rule #2: Find something you love
I stress this so much currently, find something that you love and makes you happy. For me it is an array of creativity such as creating fashion, painting, listening to opera, taking photos of myself in creative ways, going to the gym and translating Italian. These hobbies keep me sane and happy, anyone can gain confidence in what they love.
Rule #3: Learn to love your body
This is a harder step, but to learn to love your body is essential. Baby steps is key. Start with looking at yourself in the mirror everyday for a minute, realize what you are thankful. Second, start taking photos of your favorite parts and remind yourself of them if you are feeling down. Start wearing more clothes that make you happy, maybe put on some pretty makeup or lipstick, anything that can give you a boost throughout the day. Repeat these steps, and soon enough you will gain more confidence.
Rule #4: Stay off of liking on social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook)
One thing that is great about social media is that you can gain confidence by posting creative pictures of yourself online and receiving love by likes. However, the downside to social media is how tempting it is for you to compare yourself to IG models. I believe it is better to just post online, opposed to liking other people’s photos that you will compare yourself to. So when you choose to post, just post and put your device on silent, then see the next morning how much love you recieved. Therefore, gaining confidence the next day.
Rule #5: Limit your spending in small bursts
If you are anything like me, you will go the whole nine yards on spending cash you don’t have on clothing and heels, thinking it will make you feel better. In order to save your wallet, limit your spending by month; for me the limit is 35 dollars. By having retail therapy and a limit, it will guarantee happiness and not depression for spending too much.
Rule #6: Let go of the past
We all make mistakes and do stupid stuff we could have prevented, but it is better not to harp on the past. Let go of past relationships, and find happiness in the present. Learn to love and be happy instead of comparing. And have faith in yourself, and soon you will discover confidence.