Therapy has garnered a mixed reputation in our society. Some like the idea of it, others don’t. This mixed reputation comes from a variety of places. For people who have never gone to therapy, or those who only understand it through the lens of movies and TV, therapy may seem like an extreme form of intervention reserved for the seriously mentally ill. However, this is far from the case.
Therapy is a supportive, open environment for people to talk out their emotions with a trained professional. The most common form of therapy, “talk therapy,” aims to help a person talk out their emotions and personal struggles.
The Mental Health Foundation explains that therapy “can help you work out how to deal with negative thoughts and feelings and make positive changes. They can help people who are feeling distressed by difficult events in their lives as well as people with a mental health problem… Talking about your thoughts and feelings can help you deal with times when you feel troubled about something… But talking about it can help you work out what is really bothering you and explore what you could do about it.”
A therapist’s main role is not necessarily giving advice, but rather helping a patient talk through their own problems.
However, sometimes it can be about more than talking. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance highlights that therapy “is also working toward solutions. Some therapy may involve homework, such as tracking your moods, writing about your thoughts, or participating in social activities that have caused anxiety in the past. You might be encouraged to look at things in a different way or learn new ways to react to events or people.”
In summary, therapy is there to help you work out feelings, track behaviors, and work towards personal growth.
It is also important to note this: therapy is for everyone.
You don’t need to have a serious (or any) mental illness to have a therapist. As long as you are a human with emotions, you are eligible to go to therapy.
It is also important to remember that going to therapy does not say anything about your character. It does not mean you are weak. It does not mean you are seeking attention. It does not mean you are broken or different from any other person. If anything, making the decision to go to therapy says you are brave, decisive, and motivated.
If you feel you need therapy, don’t try to convince yourself you’re “too tough”–we all need to talk out our emotions from time to time.
If you’re considering therapy, but you’re not sure what to expect, you should ask around to hear other people’s experiences. It is up to you if you decide to listen to their input—but, regardless, it may be useful to hear from people you trust.
My friend Vincent, fellow MCLA freshman, told me this about his experiences in therapy:
“I’ve gone through about 5 or 6 different therapists, and there were some that were helpful, and some that were just plain stupid. I found that the helpful ones tended to not impose their own experience on my experience, meaning that they didn’t compare my life to something in their life that didn’t mean anything to me. Good therapists rarely give advice, they lead you to discover good ideas on your own and then help you break down those ideas and process them with you. I know with my therapist, what i found helpful is [the fact] that he is an outsider looking in, meaning he can find clarity in things that I deem muddled with too much of my own meaning.”
Vincent also explained to me that therapy, like with any experiences, has its bad moments:
“Bad therapists I have had have done everything from trying to convert me to Christianity, to telling me “Suck it up, buttercup”, to flat out asking me to show them my underwear because they didn’t believe I wore men’s boxers.”
Everyone has different experiences with therapists. Some good, some bad, some in between.
Personally, I have gone to three or four therapists over the years. Each one had a different style, a different way of trying to connect with me and get me to talk about my experiences.
When I was ten, I went to my first therapist. I started going because I developed a form of anxiety called panic disorder. Whenever I would go to school, I would have a panic attack; my chest would tense up, my hands would shake, and I would feel nauseous. Going to school everyday suddenly felt like rolling a boulder uphill to no avail. I had no idea where or whom to turn to. One day, it got to be too much—my mom drove me to school and I refused to get out of the car. I was shaking and crying. I was panicking so much and I had no idea why. Neither of us knew what the problem was, so she took me to the emergency room. Luckily, from there, a psychiatrist at the hospital was able to tell me a little about what I was experiencing: anxiety.
It was scary to talk about, but I felt relieved to hear there was a name for what I was feeling. After that ER visit, the hospital referred me to a therapist at The Brien Center. I went through one or two therapists (both of which I disliked, since I was opposed to counseling in the first place) before I found Pat, who really understood me. Every week we sat down and talked out my feelings. She helped me better understand my anxiety by pinpointing when it flared up, what helped it, and how I could prepare for the next panic attack. These therapy sessions were a mix of talking out my experiences and coming up with solutions.
I saw Pat regularly for almost 4 years. She helped me work through countless mental health issues I encountered in life. After I stopped seeing her, I took a break from therapy. I thought my experience with therapy was over—that is, until I struggled with depression in high school. I sat down with my mom and asked her to help set me up with a new therapist. She happily helped me, and soon I was united with a new therapist, Jennifer. I spent a couple months seeing her, which went just as swimmingly as all my other therapist experiences.
I have never regretted going to a therapist. All of my cumulative time spent in counseling has shaped me into the person I am today. Therapy has helped me become more introspective and willing to change my world view. I am more in tune with my emotions than ever.
If you find yourself going through an emotional rough patch, don’t be afraid to reach out. Reaching out is the first step to finding happiness. Don’t feel like you have to suffer in silence. A therapist or counselor can not only help you work out confusing feelings, but give you lifelong tools to deal with any emotions you will find along your journey.