“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, “Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”” (Maya Angelou)
If you suffer from this phenomenon called “Impostor Syndrome,” you know the thoughts that come with it.
“I’m not as smart as everyone thinks I am.”
“I didn’t do that well, I just tricked them into thinking I did.”
“Someday everyone is going to realize I’m a fraud.”
“I don’t deserve this success, it was just luck.”
“They’ll find me out.”
You believe you have tricked the entire world into thinking you are smart and successful. You perceive yourself as an impostor. You think your good characteristics are all part of a facade that will inevitably falter one day, and when that happens, the world will be shocked by what you really are. Every time you win in life, you can’t help feeling like you should have lost, and you know you’re destined to lose next time.
You call yourself stupid, undeserving, a sham, a fraud. You believe you only aced the job interview because you were charming. You only got an A on your essay because you used good vocabulary. You’ve only gotten good report cards over the years because you tricked all your teachers into thinking you were smart. You attribute all your success to luck or fate or random happenstance. You are convinced none of it is real, and you are not real either. One day the tower of lies you’ve built will shake and crumble to the ground, and you will be exposed as a lifelong impostor. You’re sure of it.
But I have news for you: You are wrong. You are not an impostor.
No matter how much you think you are a fraud, it’s simply not true. Those pieces of your identity you think are fake? They’re real. You are smart, hard-working, dedicated, deserving, and more.
Think realistically for a moment. Chances are, you haven’t been “found out” yet like you imagine will happen one day. If you’ve been waiting years and years for people to expose you and it hasn’t happened yet, then it’s safe to say it will never happen—because there is nothing to find out. You have nothing to hide. If you really did have something to hide, I’m sure someone out there would have detected it.
Take a moment, too, to consider all your past successes. The good grades, the awards, the diplomas, the compliments from loved ones. Do you really think if you were undeserving of them all, you would have so many successes to look back on? Your consistent success is not an accident or a coincidence.
Consider your identity. Do you really think all the good parts of you are fake? Consider all the times people have pointed out your strengths. If you’ve been told 100 times you are a good artist, then you are a good artist. Those people were not lying to you.
Finally, consider a hypothetical. What if one day all your fears came true? What if one day people found out you were unintelligent or undeserving of everything? Your life wouldn’t be over. In fact, I don’t think much would happen at all. You would still be you. Success would still come to you. You would still continue to live your life and grow as a person.
But that hypothetical won’t happen, because you are real. You are not an impostor.
The road to accepting this is weird at first, but it gets easier over time. Start by owning your successes. Embrace when you do well. Don’t think “I don’t deserve this good grade,” think instead “I do deserve this because I worked hard and gave it my all.” Give yourself credit for what you rightfully earned. You can also shift the way you think about your value as a human; don’t place all of your self-worth onto your IQ. Your intelligence is important, but don’t forget you have other good qualities, too. By taking intelligence down from such a high pedestal, it can relieve some of the impostor fears. You may also work on this issue by doing some research on Impostor Syndrome. More people experience this phenomenon than you think—an estimated 70% of us experience it at least once. Even extremely successful authors, musicians, actors, and scholars feel like frauds. You are not alone in the way you feel.
At the end of the day, remember that this is all in your head. I know it feels like you are wearing a well-crafted mask, but if you take a moment to really look in the mirror, you’ll see your true face is there clear as day. You are not hiding anything, because you have nothing to hide. You deserve everything you’ve achieved thus far and will achieve later. You may not see it, but the rest of the world can. Believe the world when it tells you that you deserve success.