Most people our age would say that yes, I have a phone addiction. And then that will be it. They will continue their day and won’t care to think any more about it. That might be an issue with the people of our generation. A lack of reflection on one’s life. A phone in hand at all times has become the norm. We can’t go anywhere without it. I remember in high school before my mom had a phone, she would get frustrated with me because I would bring my phone everywhere and ask why I had to do so. I would reply that I need to: use it for school, to know where to meet up with my friends for lunch, etc. She didn’t get it. Not until she got a phone a year later and fell victim to the same thing I did. I used to read constantly as a kid. In the same way a phone is my addiction now books used to be my addiction. I would read while walking, between classes, and during any spare time. Now, I do the same thing with my phone and rarely pick up a book. I always need the noise to fill up that empty space. When I’m cooking, I need to watch something, if I’m on the treadmill I need to watch something. When I’m eating, I need to be watching something. I can’t bear the silence. Sometimes, I would think, “What if I tried cooking without having something to watch?” Then I would go on with watching a show because ha, no, I’m not going to give up my phone.
I listened to a podcast a while ago that talked about a dopamine detox. The speaker talked about how she tried to go for some time without going on her phone unless it was for work, ignoring Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest. She restricted herself from things that would give her a dopamine boost, even sex, anything that would give her instant gratification. When hearing her talk about her experience, I thought,
“Man, that must’ve been so difficult, but such a good experience. Could I do that? Can I go so long without scrolling on TikTok? Without pinning posts on Pinterest? Without watching people’s stories on Instagram?” I decided to try it. At the time, I set a three-hour daily time limit for TikTok. I would hit the limit and continue to scroll by clicking ‘ignore for today.’ I would be on TikTok in the morning for about an hour, throughout the day, and for about an hour at night. I then started to reflect on this. Yes, TikTok is so fun and can be very informative. In fact, I’ve learned a lot from it. I’ve learned about feminism, skincare, and fashion. But taking a step back could improve other parts of my life. I could be more productive. If I’m not constantly searching for a dopamine hit, I could be better at sitting down with work and working consistently on it without putting it off constantly. I would be able to not have to take as many phone breaks, and the quality of my work could improve.
Lately, I have noticed that I wasn’t sleeping as well as I used to, and the bags under my eyes have been an issue that I don’t like. I wake up at night, so my quality of sleep has been bad. Maybe if I were to get better sleep quality, perhaps my days would be more productive, and possibly even my health would be better. My boyfriend had been visiting for a week, and before bed, we would chat for a while and not be on our phones, and then go straight to sleep. My sleep was great that week, never waking once in the night. But once he left, I was back on my phone before bed. I would stay on until I decided I was done with my phone time, and I could fall asleep. My sleep was back to how it was, and I was waking up in the night again. I decided to start using the sleep function on my phone to help combat this. To see if my phone might be the issue. My phone would tell me around 10:44 PM that it was time to wind down, and it would stop sending me any notifications from people. I also decided that my bed would be a phone-free zone at night. Once in bed, I was not allowed to be on my phone. As soon as I got my sleep notification, I would do what I wanted on my phone, and when I was done with my TikTok time, I would say, “Ok, that’s it. No more phone time.” This was honestly difficult. Having stayed on my phone for about an hour before bed for probably the last 8 years created an addiction in me. One that is not an easy to break. I got into bed and just went straight to bed. Crazy right? Crazy enough, my sleep did indeed improve. I started sleeping through the night and felt less tired in the morning, I began to feel rested, and my skin looked better as well. Who would’ve known? This lasted only a short time, however. I did this for three nights before falling back into my old pattern. So it’s more complicated than that. It takes a while to break a pattern. Breaking an addiction from a phone is probably one of the most complex habits to break. Even psychologists are used in marketing teams to strategize how to keep you addicted to apps and generate more usage.
I have always liked to lean into discomfort with the belief that that is how you can grow the most, develop your character, and help with your confidence. But not having my phone on me to constantly be entertained, scared me a lot. I felt a lot of discomfort. But I also believe if something scares me, it’s something that I must do, and it will probably be for the better. In this case, I’m right. I replaced my love and addiction for my phone to reading. Some might say who cares, but I should care. I should be okay with the silence of life without the noise of a phone. I should be able to enjoy cooking and eating without having to watch something. I should be able to sit in line waiting at my doctor’s office without having to scroll on my phone. I started bringing a book to places instead. I have started falling in love with reading again. It’s tough to just pick up the book instead of my phone because I feel like I’m missing out on phone time, but once I pick up the book, I do not regret it. On the subway I take a book and instead of being on my phone. I feel productive and it’s wonderful. I’m not going to lie; I still struggle with my phone, but I recognize how much time I spend on it in a day. Many people’s screen times exceed 8 hours a day, and it’s become so routine that it’s difficult to notice a problem. It’s hard to think about because the time could’ve been spent doing so many other things. Things like learning, and growing, and sadly, I’ve wasted so much time just looking at a screen. I wake up most days now repeating to myself, “You are in charge of your life,” when I reach for my phone. I get off my phone and make my day productive by checking off things on my to-do list one by one. I realize that when I have my phone near me, it takes me longer to do things and therefore I’m unable to finish all the tasks I need to do. I end up being frustrated with myself.
Something I need to remember is that it’s because of an addiction. My mom was right. It’s because of the damn phone. My phone addiction is ruining my life and stopping me from really blossoming into the person I could be. I’m trying my best to change my habits, but I can’t do them all in one day. To change habits, I must start with small steps every day and persevere. That’s all I can do. Hopefully anyone who reads this will also be able to take the time to reflect on their phone usage as well to make a change in their life.