Beauty standards are a trap. One day, you feel great about yourself; the next, you have 20 new insecurities, and you can’t look in the mirror without pointing out every “flaw.” How ridiculous is it that we live in a world where made-up standards get to control how we feel?Â
It’s a tale as old as time…no, literally because, unfortunately, this has been going on forever. For as long as I can remember, beauty has never been achievable. Whether you are genuinely the most beautiful person on earth or just average, the judgment you receive is constant. There is always something about our appearance that can and should be enhanced, almost as if appearance isn’t subjective.
People conjure trending beauty tips out of thin air, and you are expected to let your insecurities rule you. Why does the internal self do that? People don’t have the right to comment on our appearance in the first place, and if they do, you shouldn’t believe them. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the same trap every time: a deep, dark hole that we can’t seem to get ourselves out of. One insecurity turns into two, two into three, and before you know it, you don’t view yourself as beautiful anymore because you don’t fit some “standard” that a few people decided on. How ridiculous is that?Â
When I was younger, these standards crept up on me without even noticing. At first, it presented itself through toys and the movies advertised to be watched. Princess Diaries – is an incredible movie that I love– but it taught me that curly hair was messy and glasses were too nerdy for a princess. All the Barbies, as beautiful as they are, at the age of six, made me wish my sister was blonde with blue eyes because that was the model of beauty.
As a kid, the representation I saw was limited, but as I got older, social media took over, and that somehow made everything worse. There are two main layers to this:Â
- People are more comfortable telling you what they think because social media allows people to say what they want when they want to. This is a major issue when it comes to interactions in person. Sure, the comments can sometimes be subtle, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. If I am breaking out on my face, I can guarantee you that someone will either point it out directly or they will start referring to their own skin and then mine in an attempt to be polite. The same goes with weight, height, hair, you name it.Â
- Even though now we see all sorts of people who look like us, the judgement is more apparent than ever. It’s almost as if social media has only created even more insecurities because when you are exposed to people who look similar to you, it is natural not to help but compare. Not only that, but really unnecessary trends have been going viral for no reason. What on earth are “legging legs,” and why do I care if people talk with their top row of teeth or their bottom? People have gotten so obsessed with appearance that people are beginning to run out of insecurities to prey on.Â
I’m now approaching my 20s, and the number of older women I see spending their time getting Botox, Fillers, and anti-aging products is increasing. Even ageing is no longer allowed to be part of the “standard.” Meanwhile, 12—and 13-year-olds look like they are 17 because of the makeup and style they are pressured to adopt into their lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong; I am so happy that they are able to avoid that awkward phase no one likes to talk about. However, if teenagers are trying to look older and the older women are doing everything in their capability to look younger, then what’s the ideal age to be in? 20-30? Ten years where I’m allowed to feel beautiful? Even when you are in your 20s, despite it being the “prettiest you will ever be,” you still rarely ever feel confident enough because of all the insecurities that have surfaced over the years.
It’s somehow this endless cycle of such beautiful people inside and out, feeling like they aren’t worthy of being called beautiful because, at some point, someone convinced them they weren’t.Â
I am not here to give some magical solution to insecurities, I am far from perfect myself. I’m just asking that we stop judging everyone around us for the way they look. More importantly, I’m asking that we stop believing the people who make dumb comments, whether it’s intentional or not.
Stop trusting some standard that changes every other day. Stop idolizing individuals for their appearance when they are photoshopped or cosmetically altered. Let’s just all try to accept ourselves for who we are, beautiful, in different ways.Â