Insecurities cause us to feel uncertain and anxious about ourselves, which can result in a lack of confidence. We are living in a time where almost EVERYONE is grappling with some form of insecurity, and where anxiety and depression surrounding personal image are at an all-time high. This feeling is so damaging to our mental health, yet we can’t help but feel this way. Now that it is 2024, I say we leave our insecurities in the past, and start off this year with positivity and self-appreciation! Hopefully by the end of this article you will be one step closer to that goal.
The mind is a very powerful thing, and you have more control over it than you think. The key to controlling your mind instead of your mind controlling you, is self-reflection. When you understand yourself, your values and goals, and how you think, it’s easier to steer your mind away from negative thinking. But it takes time to recognize what is causing your negative thinking and how to maneuver around it. I will demonstrate how I managed to do this with physical insecurities.
Let’s start by identifying the root of the problem. Try to imagine a time when people were not so self-conscious. Chances are, you’ll recall a time before the dominance of social media. Being on TikTok myself, I see people making videos about new insecurities every day! Hip dips, side profile, chubby hands, height, short legs, the list goes on forever! People are constantly posting content where they express feeling like their worth is attached to their insecurities, and as the viewers, we often find ourselves nodding in agreement and adopting that thinking. I’ve seen people express that they didn’t even think about a specific insecurity until it was mentioned on TikTok.
The worst part is most people don’t notice a person’s insecurity unless they point it out themselves, sometimes even then people can’t comprehend why this feature would be a source of self-consciousness. On videos where someone is explaining why they don’t like their round face, for example, the comments often overflow with affirmations like: ‘Round faces are adorable!’, ‘A round face makes you look friendly’, or ‘I wish my face was round!’. Even if all the comments are positive, it does little to help that self-conscious feeling, which is evident because those types of videos are still being made every day. That might make you realize that everyone seems to only be criticizing themselves. We also tend to compare ourselves to others when endlessly scrolling through social media. We start thinking like, ‘If she’s insecure about her _____, I should be really insecure about my own _____.’ I get it, I’ve been there too. But here’s why I don’t think like that anymore and why you shouldn’t either.
(Try to really ponder about these next few sentences and ask yourself if they enlighten you.) We are insecure about what people will think about us, but 99% of the time people don’t think anything! People are either too busy worrying about how they look to be concerned with how you look or, they have detached themselves from this shallow thinking and do not waste time criticizing appearances (this thinking is more common than you think!). The only one that judges your appearance as harshly as you fear people will, is you! To be insecure is to fear judgment and express that fear by self-judging . While it is a valid feeling, it is also a waste of your valuable time and brain power. We owe it to ourselves to use our time to do more productive and positive things in 2024, instead of mentally attacking our looks.
Hopefully at least one of these perspective changing statements resonated with you and caused you to think deeply. This is where your mind should feel light as you let go of negative thinking and realize you are in control, and you can choose how to think!
Though this self-reflecting method was used with insecurities in this example, it can be used to battle any kind of negative thinking. Just remember to 1. assess the root source of the negative feeling, 2. question why it is the source, 3. re-orient your thinking, and if all else fails, 4. remove the source.
Another technique you can try to promote a positive self-image is affirmations! Whenever you look in the mirror, instead of taking notice of what you dislike, make note of and point out what you like about yourself! Just saying positive things to yourself out loud will make you see yourself in a positive light, even if you didn’t 100% believe what you were saying at first. If saying nice things to plants can help them grow and flourish, why wouldn’t it work on us? (Spoiler: it does work on us ;) )
My final tip for thinking around insecurities, is to not depend on other’s options of you. If you only prioritize what you think of yourself, the rest will fade to nothing. You will find that you more often than not, do what you like, wear what you like, and live how you like, instead of how others want you to. It’s very freeing and I hope everyone reading this can feel the same this year.
We can all think kindly of ourselves and always be thankful for what we have, especially our physical being. Always remember that while it is normal to feel insecure and compare yourself to others, you should not dwell on it so much that it negatively impacts your mental health. The best you can do for yourself is to change your perspective on them. Own your appearance. Be proud that only you can look like you. Start the new year strong and radiate positivity, for others AND yourself.