I am the oldest child in a family of three children, and the oldest granddaughter on my father’s side of the family. As one can imagine, there are many ups and downs to being the oldest, but it has shaped me as an individual.
Being the oldest means that I have experienced everything first, and my parents have stricter rules and expect more of me. Whenever I go out with my friends, my parents insist that I update them regularly on my whereabouts, whereas the same expectation doesn’t exist for my sister, who’s two years younger than me. I am also expected to be a “second parent” to my sisters. When something goes wrong, I am usually the one to get blamed. As I got older, my parents began to depend on me more frequently, assigning bigger tasks such as taking care of my siblings and younger cousins, sending their emails, answering phone calls, and helping them out with their finances. Currently, I have been tasked with filling out all of the documentation for our new house and helping decorate its interior, which are not easy tasks.
As you can see, there are a lot of responsibilities that come with being the oldest child. Don’t get me wrong—I am grateful that my parents trust me to the extent where they can rely on me for important matters, but their high expectations and perception of me as “the perfect daughter” scare me sometimes. I am scared to disappoint them and let them down because they’ve been nothing but amazing to me.
That being said, there are some perks to being the oldest. Being the oldest has taught me to be more independent and less reliant on others, which is a great life skill to have. I’ve also never had to deal with hand-me-downs, and from the moment I was born, I was spoiled rotten by my family. Even when money was tight, my parents always tried to provide for me and without fail, celebrated all my accomplishments. Furthermore, they have always taken my thoughts and opinions into consideration and are extremely supportive about my career aspirations. Overall, I am grateful that I have parents that I can look up to and confide in.
So, what’s the verdict? Do you think being a first born is a blessing or a curse? It’s definitely not easy being the oldest, but my birth order has been important in shaping me as an individual. I wouldn’t have had the same experiences if I was the middle or youngest child. For many reasons, being the oldest has been a blessing, but it’s not without its downsides.