When it comes to university, the people you choose to live with can shape your experience in unexpected ways. Here’s what I wish I knew before sharing my space and signing that lease…
Does moving in with friends require as much thought as moving in with a significant other? In many ways, it’s a similar commitment—complete with chore charts, shared bathrooms, and the never-ending mystery of who left their half-empty coffee mug on the counter.
I couldn’t help but wonder: is moving in with friends just another type of relationship gamble?
Moving into a student house is supposed to be an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime experience, one you’ll look back on with shared memories for years to come (and maybe a few laughable disasters). I remember mine like it was yesterday—searching for the perfect house being faced with the daunting question: Who do I actually want to live with for the next three years?
As it turns out, I ended up moving out second year, as so many do, because I hadn’t put nearly enough thought into that question. So here I am, spilling the tea on the lessons I wish I’d known before signing that lease, so you can dodge the nightmare tales of “that one bad roommate” (cue the horror music).
- Trust your gut: Listen to your instincts about roommates
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If something feels off about a potential roommate, don’t brush it aside. Just like in any relationship, those quirks that bug you from day one probably won’t get any cuter over time. Whether it’s their questionable cleaning habits or not getting along with their other friends, listen to that little voice in your head. Better to have a slightly awkward conversation now than to spend the next year regretting singing that lease.
- Reality Check: Best Friends or Best Apart?
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Sure, living with your best friends may seem like a dream come true, but it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes, the healthiest friendships are the ones that don’t come with a shared bathroom or “who’s taking out the trash?” standoffs. Perhaps you both need space to avoid codependency or maybe you have different living habits that may not align well. Living apart might just make your friendship stronger—and spare you from those inevitable “Why are your dishes in the sink again?” conversations. Take the time to consider whether you and your bestie’s relationship will sink or swim in a shared home.
Freeform / Jonathan Wenk / Disney Enterprises - The Roommate Date: Interviewing for Your Ideal Living Situation
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Seriously – take my word. Before you move in with a group of people and sign that lease, get to know each other’s living habits. For example, how tidy are they? Are they okay with pets? What about guests? Do they smoke or drink? Are they night owls or early birds? You don’t need to lead identical lives, but knowing your non-negotiables upfront is key. For example, if you’d like your partner to sleep over frequently, your roommate might be uncomfortable with this. Conversations about expectations and boundaries are absolutely imperative before moving in so you don’t run into conflict. Clear the air now to avoid those midnight arguments later.
- Embrace Flexibility: Be Ready to Adapt
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Living with roommates is like dancing—sometimes you take the lead, and other times you follow. While you might wish for everything to be ideal from the start, be prepared for adjustments along the way. People have their own personalities, schedules, and habits, which may require you to be flexible to keep the peace. Maybe your roommate has a late-night work schedule, or they love to binge-watch reality TV at full volume. Embrace the unexpected and be willing to compromise. Remember, it’s about building a
harmonious home, not a battleground. Flexibility can transform these minor inconveniences into opportunities for growth (or at least some entertaining stories).
- It’s Okay to Move out if you’re Unhappy- Seriously
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Here’s the thing: sometimes things just don’t click, and that’s okay. Whether you clash with your roommates or just feel out of place, it’s perfectly fine to seek a change. Choosing to move out doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it just means you’re prioritizing your own well-being. Your home should be a place of comfort, not a place for constant compromise and tears. Take it from someone who made the move—it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Good luck, and cheers to the memories you’ll make! Living with roommates can be one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life. Wishing you an amazing group of friends and a dash of luck, too!