For the first seven years of my life, I was a very stereotypical only child – spoiled, an attention seeker, and extremely desperate for a younger sister. I would spend nights dreaming of playing ‘Ring Around the Roses’ with my imaginary sister. I would show her how to play with my princess dolls and build the most luxurious building block houses. I would even let her borrow all the clothes she wanted. We would never get bored, she would be my best friend. That was until I finally got what I wanted, and on my sister’s first birthday, I came to the obvious realization that Laila was growing up too slow. By that point, my other sister, Iman, was about to be born, and reality had kicked in. Instead of learning how to share my toys, I would have to learn to become the dreaded older sister as soon as possible.
No one had taught me how to be an older sister, I mean up until I was 7 it was just my parents and I. The only examples I had were from my friends with sisters and they always argued. So, once my sisters became toddlers, like any normal kid would do, I began to argue. Imagine an 11-year-old screaming at a 4-year-old for copying me. I hated that they didn’t understand that there was an age gap between us. How was it fair that just because I was doing something, and they would do it too, then I would get in trouble? It was a difficult adjustment for an only child, to say the least. Eventually, I learned how to become my own version of an older sister. Not evil, like the step-sisters in Cinderella, but more friendly. I had to reflect on who I was and who I wanted to be at a young age. I accepted that no matter how annoying they may be at times, we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.
I am now 19 and my sisters are 11 and 12. I would like to think our relationship has never been better. I still have my moments as an older sister, but I finally have the friendship I craved as an only child. Unlike any other friendship though, I will always and unapologetically be protective over my sisters more than anyone else in the world. You can’t blame me though, I saw them when they were babies, their first steps, their first words. In modern-day society, the protective instinct that comes with being an older sister is usually talked about negatively, but I like that I can be so protective. As an older sister, I never want them to make the same mistakes that I’ve made growing up. I want them to be better in every way – not perfect, because that’s impossible, but better. When they’re going through something difficult I’ll be there to help, even if it hurts me just watching them feel upset.
Even though there are moments where I’ve wanted the pressures and responsibilities to go away just for some time, there are also the moments that remind me that it’s worth it. Like when there’s drama at school and my sisters run into my room giving me the most recent update. Or when it’s already past midnight and we’re all trying to hold in our laughter because our parents are asleep – but we end up waking them up anyway. I love that we get to ask each other for outfit advice, and expect brutal honesty. Anytime I’m bored I know my sisters are always ready to hang out with me (as long as I bribe them). They make my happy moments happier, my silly moments sillier, and my world a better place. I am so grateful to have them in my life.
P.S. I did actually get my younger sisters to play ‘Ring Around the Roses’ with me. I was 17, they were 10 and 8 years old…but better late than never I guess.
Message to the older sisters: I know sometimes, it feels like we are not doing a good enough job as older sisters, but remember your happy moments together.