There are seven years between my little sister and I. Seven years of difference is the way I saw it for the longest time. We were always sisters, but we never became friends until recently, when I realized that we had a lot more in common than I thought. When we were little, we always fought about the silliest things, like who got to sit at the table next to Dad or who got to watch TV next. Small everyday fights led me to understand that we were too different. While I was worrying about what kind of makeup I should wear to school, she was thinking about whether she wanted to be Elsa or Anna for Halloween.
In all the differences I felt between us, I now realize that we were actually very similar all along. We went through all the same life experiences, had the same thoughts, went through the same changes, and called the same people Mom and Dad. I understood that every fight we had was not because we were dissimilar, it was because we couldn’t be more alike. We fought about where we sat at the table because we both always wanted the same seat. We fought about the TV because we were both used to watching at the same time. I worried about makeup at school, and she about Elsa or Anna, I found myself putting makeup on her little face on Halloween so she could be Elsa while she trick-or-treated. My sister and I grew up the same way and were raised by the same people. Every life change I went through, so did she. There is no other person in the world who understands where I come from and why I am the way I am better than her.
Now that we’re older, I have a growing gratitude towards my parents for having her. There is something significant about a bond between siblings, and even more between sisters. There’s a popular quote, “We were girls together.” We are this close because we got to be girls together. We did each other’s makeup, validated each other’s outfits, slept in each other’s rooms after watching a scary movie, and painted each other’s nails.
Today, she is honestly the only person I call my best friend. She keeps me grounded, gives better advice than I ever thought her little hands could hold, and more kindness than I thought a person had to give. She knows me, the way I think, and how I will act before I even move a muscle. I know her the same and that bond is truly unbreakable. When the day comes when my parents are no longer the glue, it will be just her and I, against it all, and I am confident it would be okay because we grew up together.
While I was watching The Kardashians the other day, a fight between Kim and Kourtney made me recognize the relationship I have with my sister. Kourtney was angry at Kim for hosting a fashion show that was very similar to Kourtney’s wedding theme with the same brand. On the surface, this is what viewers saw, but the true fight was about Kourtney being angry that Kim was stealing her spotlight and that this was a recurring behavior. Kim was angry that Kourtney couldn’t appreciate her efforts to respect Kourtney’s wedding, and couldn’t be happy about Kim’s accomplishments. This fight lasted a long time, I would argue that has been an underlying theme between them for many years. But Kourtney said something in a recent episode that made me think. She says, “Anyone who has sisters knows the dynamic, you could get into a crazy fight and then you could send each other a funny text and everything’s all good.”
I think this speaks to a larger phenomenon that maybe other sisters can relate to as well. There have been countless times when my sister and I would fight, be angry for a few hours, and I’d still bring her Starbucks as if nothing happened. It makes me think there is an understanding between us oftentimes that allows us to appreciate each other and move past issues in an unspoken way. We recognize that neither of us means to hurt the other and it’s often a simple misunderstanding. I can’t even explain the amount of times we have gotten into an argument, there would be silence for a few minutes, and then I would find myself in her room asking if she wants to watch a movie, or she comes to ask me if she should make me dinner while she makes hers. Some arguments can’t be resolved without talking it through, but we both remember that neither of us can sit with that uneasiness and we have to work it out. Most times, I am the one apologizing for acting irrationally, and sometimes she admits her fault, but it is both of us that always make sure we say, “Love you” before we go to bed.