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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at McMaster chapter.

I thought best friends forever actually meant forever. Isnā€™t that the promise we make to each other as little girls?

No matter how far you move through life, thereā€™s always that friend you go back to. The one who was there for all those ā€˜firstsā€™; first sleepover, first play date, first matching necklace. The one whose memories share much of your shared childhood ā€” your first BFF.

I went back to see my first BFF over the summer. Just like every time we reconnected, we had plans to get food at our usual cafe, chat about our lives now, reminisce about our younger years, and laugh until we became a disturbance.

But instead, I found myself across from a warped memory. She looked the sameā€¦ but different. She had the same mannerisms, but different values. She was the same on the inside, but now applied herself differently on the outside. And by the end of our hangout, we left as two strangers with a shared past.

Time had dried up the last of our connection.

For the first few days after, this realization hurt like losing a part of myself. And on some level I did. We shared the same history, the same foundational experiences, and yet, the relationship changed.Ā 

Thereā€™s only so much of your past that sticks with you. The rest is left clouded, only brought to light by the one who shares that same past. Her memories hold a history that Iā€™ll never know. She knows of me in ways I donā€™t, and I know of her in ways she doesnā€™t. When youā€™re apart for long enough, memories are all that keep you tethered. But to lose that light, is to lose part of yourself.

While itā€™s heavy and I feel like Iā€™ve lost a major part of my childhood, I realize the change makes sense. We knew each other last at nine years old. Now, over ten years later, itā€™s natural for us to have grown into different people, and sometimes growth brings changes that donā€™t mesh well together. Itā€™s not only her appearance, values, and interests that have changed ā€” mine have too.Ā 

Iā€™m not too sure where this experience leaves me. While Iā€™m learning to grapple with a new loss, I know I played a part in it too. The only thing I can think to do is remember our fun times together and cherish the people I know now.Ā 

The passage of time is only starting to hit me as I enter my 20th year. Friendships fade. Some last for years, others only days. But I wonā€™t let this experience turn me into a cynic. Just as I loved and admired my friends of the past, Iā€™ll love and admire my new friends too. Time may take people away, but it also gives. So even if itā€™s not ā€˜best friends foreverā€™, ā€˜best friends for nowā€™ works for me too.Ā 

Maisoon is a writer at Her Campus who joined with the hope of connecting people through amusement, awareness, and commonality. She is currently an undergraduate at Mcmaster University majoring in Biology and Psychology. She hopes to one day use this degree to help integrate psychotherapy and spirituality for those who feel conflicted towards the subject, but until then, is just trying to keep up with her textbook readings. Maisoon has rekindled her love for reading in recent years but sadly spends more time looking for books that will interest her than actually reading, so she's always up for a good recommendation. She loves the snow, study dates with her friends, and heart-to-heart conversations. But above all - loves her cat Javert and his feisty cat-titude.