The juxtaposition of wanting to fit in, while attempting to stand out.
I have always been the type of person involved in a sport. Whether it be swimming, soccer, flag football, skating, hockey – you name it and I’ve probably tried it. My parents always encouraged me to explore any and all sports by pushing me out of my comfort zone as early as five years old and continuing as I began to enter early adulthood.
When I was younger, I never took notice of who pursued the sport; I was just excited to try something new and make friends along the way. However, as I began to explore more niche sports, I realized that I was often the only person of colour (POC), more specifically, the only South Asian girl competing. I tried my best to not let that deter me or shake my confidence and mindset, but as I began to understand the racial quips made at my expense, I felt embarrassed. I no longer wanted to be the only South Asian girl in a sport – I wanted to fit in.
Growing up, I did not have the luxury of Googling “famous Indian athletes” to boost my own confidence. At the time, the Internet was an expensive commodity, and I feared being ridiculed and labelled as “sensitive” for feeling icky after hearing these so-called racial ‘jokes’, especially when I pursued ‘White-dominated’ sports.
I wish I could hug my seven-year-old self and tell her that it is not in her head, and she is not the only POC who has felt this way. In Canada alone, 18% of individuals who regularly participate in sports reported that they themselves had experienced unfair treatment, racism, or discrimination in sport, or had witnessed such an event1 . The most common form of discrimination reported by these individuals was in the form of insensitive jokes or remarks1.
The thought of seven-year-old me telling her parents about the truth of her place in sports made my head pound; it would have broken my parents’ hearts to know that I was feeling racially out of place in a sport that they encouraged me to pursue. So, I just grew thicker skin and endured both the intentional and unintentional racial prejudice.
My thick skin serves as a reminder of why POC representation in sports matters. For me personally, seeing more POC in sports shows me how we can demonstrate empowerment through representation. This is crucial in breaking down the systemic biases2 that accompany many POC, and ultimately POC athletes.
Even though my skin has grown quite thick over the years, I still sometimes face culturally insensitive and racial quips in athletics. But, knowing that our world view on POC athletes is shifting each day encourages me to continue pursuing my sport.
Maybe one day another South Asian girl will find the inspiration to step out of her comfort zone and pursue something new.
Sources:
[1] Government of Canada, Statistics Canada. “The Daily — Discrimination and Racism in Sports in Canada.” www150.statcan.gc.ca, March 4, 2024. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/240304/dq240304a-eng.htm
[2] Banaji, Mahzarin R., Susan T. Fiske, and Douglas S. Massey. “Systemic Racism: Individuals and Interactions, Institutions and Society.” Cognitive Research: Principles and Implications 6, no. 1 (December 20, 2021). https://doi.org/10.1186/s41235-021-00349-3.