As someone who is disgustingly indecisive (thank you, Gemini Sun), I am well acquainted with the trials and tribulations of ordering the right drink at cafés. I often find myself anxiously ordering the first drink I spot on a menu, whether I want it or not, because the process of ordering an elaborate coffee is simply too overwhelming. However, since becoming a barista, I have been able to experiment with ingredients to create personalized drinks that are perfect for whoever asks. So, here are twelve “secret menu” Starbucks drinks customized for each zodiac sign, along with explanations on how to order each one.
1. Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Face it, Aries, you are the boldest in the game, and you want a drink that packs a punch to perpetuate drama all day long. Your drink is extra caffeinated, elaborate, and intense.
What to order: A Brown Sugar Oat Shaken Espresso with one less pump of brown sugar, one pump of white mocha, and extra cinnamon (because you are extra).
2. Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
You Taureans are nothing if not down-to-earth and indulgent, so you want a drink as comforting and rustic as you are. Your drink is warm and earthy.
What to order: A London Fog with almond milk, no water, no vanilla, and sub honey.
3. Gemini (May 21-Jun. 20)
As a Gemini, I speak for many of us when I say decisiveness and consistency are not our strong suits. Like us, this drink is all over the place yet tastefully layered.
What to order: An Iced Chai Tea Latte with two pumps of chai, two pumps of brown sugar syrup, oat milk, a shot of blonde espresso, and cinnamon. Now, try saying that ten times in a row.
4. Cancer (Jun. 21-Jul. 22)
We get it, Cancer. You just want passion, security, and your emotions to be validated. For this reason, you want something sweet and satisfying to quench your undying tenacity.
What to order: An Iced Passion Tea Lemonade, no liquid cane syrup, sub raspberry syrup.
5. Leo (Jul. 23-Aug. 22)
Roll out the red carpet. It is Leo’s turn in the spotlight! You are fiery, confident, and no stranger to being the centre of attention. Your ideal drink is bold and, simply put, not like the other girls.
What to order: A Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade, double blended with extra dragonfruit inclusions.
6. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
While you might (sometimes wrongly) get stereotyped as fussy, you are really just practical people who like things done well and properly. Your coffee is reliable and does what it is intended to do.
What to order: A Vanilla Sweet Cream Nitro Cold Brew with a pump of hazelnut syrup.
7. Libra (Sep. 23-Oct. 22)
My dear libra, you are the zodiac’s social butterfly, and you are also so easy to get along with. While you are inherently fickle, you just expect something balanced and special…every single time you order.
What to order: An Iced Matcha Tea Latte with coconut milk, no liquid cane syrup, sub vanilla syrup, with vanilla sweet cream cold foam.
8. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Scorpio, as mysteriously elusive as you are, I am surprised you even made it here. You are emotional and passionate, and you want a simultaneously inconspicuous and complicated drink, just like you.
What to order: A Cold Brew with vanilla sweet cream cold foam, add two pumps of cinnamon dolce syrup to the foam, and add cinnamon dolce sprinkles.
9. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
What I admire most about you, Sags, is your adventurous and freedom-loving tendencies, even though your blunt honesty terrifies me. You want a drink that will fuel your restlessness and grand pursuits.
What to order: An Iced Matcha Tea Latte with oat milk, no liquid cane syrup, sub brown sugar syrup, with light water.
10. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
While I admire your undying devotion in everything you do (specifically work), you Capricorns need to loosen your ties, untighten those hair ties. You work hard, so when you treat yourself, you deserve it to be treated with care while not breaking the bank.
What to order: Iced Blonde Doppio Espresso in a Grande cup with extra oat milk (or cream), two pumps of toffee nut syrup, add cinnamon dolce sprinkles.
11. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
You are progressive and honest, my fellow air sign, and your ideal drink is something inventive that you have probably googled a handful of times. You want something that defies categorization and popularity.
What to order: Iced Black Tea, no water, no liquid cane syrup, sub brown sugar syrup, with cream.
12. Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Last but not least, we have the romantic, empathetic Pisces. As the last sign, you have absorbed the knowledge from each preceding sign, and this makes you unworldly, but also an escapist. You want a drink that is imaginative and sweet, perhaps something you dreamed of last night.
What to order: Iced White Mocha with no whipped cream, sub vanilla sweet cream cold foam, add two pumps of strawberry syrup in the foam, then add chocolate drizzle.
Remember, do not let the daunting menu boards scare you into ordering a flat white when you do not actually want one. I hope these curated drinks have inspired you to branch out and get creative with your coffee orders, regarding or regardless of your zodiac sign. Cheers!