It happens every year. Families across America gather together for the most painfully awkward dinner. Family members that haven’t been heard from in forever will appear at the front door, ready for food. All of the crazy aunts, newly-wed cousins, nearly deaf grandparents, obnoxious siblings, tipsy uncles, and stressed parents will come together for an entire afternoon. There will be plenty of time for strange and uncomfortable conversation between mouthfuls of food. At least, the afternoon will be uneasy. At most, your family will commence World War III. This day can be difficult for everyone, but there are ways to survive.
Be Prepared
Being prepared can help stop problems before they start. Have the food prepared, the table set, and the rooms arranged before the family arrives. This helps keep the stress down and allows for more time to deal with other problems that may come up. Also, prepare mentally. Being around a large family for more than a couple of hours can take a lot of mental effort. Take some time to relax before people start to arrive. Listen to some happy music to help liven the mood and reduce anxiety.
Accept Relatives as they are
Chances are, everyone will be the same as they were for the past Thanksgiving dinners. If two relatives haven’t gotten along in years, they probably still haven’t mended their relationships. Remember who has quick tempers, who gets easily offended, and who gets sad easily. Try to adjust the conversation and be sensitive to these people’s needs. The older relatives will still tell the same stories of the good ‘ole days as last year. Some aunt is going to be on another far-fetched fad diet. There will still be the relative that sneaks in a water bottle of vodka. The older cousins will still terrorize the younger kids with scary stories and various pranks. Some things will never change, so the best thing to do is change the response to them. Be patient and carefully evaluate situations. Be mindful of other’s emotional needs.
Keep the Kids Busy
The worst thing to add to the already high stress levels of Thanksgiving is a room of screaming kids. Have games, snacks, and a movie prepared for the kids. Children have a much shorter attention span and are harder to entertain. Having constant distractions for them will help the adults relax and keep the conversation pleasant. No one wants to be in one of those awkward situations where parents start arguing over how their kids are raised and behave. It is easiest to just avoid the rude and offensive advice by keeping the kids busy at all times.
Plan a Game to Play
Some families are not capable of holding decent conversations with each other. If this is the case, a fun and competitive game can help reduce the conversation while keeping everyone entertained. It will also help if people are getting bored and beginning to complain. It is best to choose a game everyone will participate in. The more people playing a game, the less people fighting. A light-hearted game is a good way to keep the mood upbeat and cheery.
Be Careful Drinking
Just the thought of Thanksgiving dinner can send some people searching for the alcohol. As tempting as it is to have a few drinks, try to limit it. Alcohol mixed with large groups of family will usually end in disaster. Don’t keep large amounts of alcohol on hand. Some relatives can limit themselves, but not everyone can. A drunk relative can quickly ruin the holiday for everyone.
Have A Backup Plan
If all else fails, have another plan. Set-up a couples of rooms or areas where relatives can escape if needed. In the midst of the chaos, it is important to have a quiet place to unwind. Introverted relatives will be especially grateful for the refuge. Even if the evening is going well, it is hard to be around that many people for the entire afternoon.
Take Time to Decompress
After surviving the entire day, take some time to decompress. All the stress and commotion can take a toll. Spend some time alone to recover from the busy day.
Be Thankful
At the end of the day, these crazy people are family. However dysfunctional they are, they made the trip to come to Thanksgiving dinner. Be thankful for your family and the effort they put forward to help make the day a success. Even if the day didn’t go as planned, don’t let the madness distract from everything you are thankful for.