Miami is known for it’s stereotypical students. From the Frat stars to the people who lock themselves in King for hours of the day, almost everyone seems to fall into a certain category. These 7 types of students are the most common breeds you will find around campus.
Photo Credit: www.fsb.muohio.edu
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#1 The Frat Star
Polo, J. Crew, Brooks Brothers. What do these brands all have in common? Their complete fall line ups are in the closets of every frat boy on campus. Notorious for being business majors, during the day, these boys will be found hitting up Dividends between their many economics and accounting classes in a wardrobe of lettered and country club attire. Frat stars can always be found travelling in a pack and asking girls, “Do you guys want to come back to ‘the house’?” During the night hours, they flock to their favourite drinking hole, The Woods, to socialize with scantily clad women and show off the latest sweater vest from Banana Republic.
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#2 The Sorostitute
Your typical Sorostitute can be found in a multitude of places around campus. The first thing she does during the day is to go to the rec. She explicitly makes sure her vodka-cranberry calories do not exceed the number of calories she burns on the elliptical. She is easy to spot in her Nike running shorts and sorority tank top. From the rec she will proceed directly to Dividends to wait in the 2 hour line to get a salad. The most common majors pursued by these ladies are marketing, education, or if all else fails, the fabled MRS degree. These lovely ladies are always looking their best, wearing brands like Lily Pulitzer, J. Crew, and Polo, except for during yoga pant season. You know you’re looking at a Sorostitute when you are overwhelmed by the amount of pink and pearls she is wearing.
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#3 The “Geed”
G.D.I. — These letters are the common abbreviation for those “God Damn Independent” students. They have no affiliation to any sort of Greek life and they like it that way. If you are looking to see them in their natural habitat, your best bet is to go to Shriver, especially at 1 am on a Friday night. Geed’s are infamous for their love of the cargo short. When asked why they love them, the response you will hear, “that’s where I keep my tater tots”. After they are released from the dorms, they all make the move to Hawks Landing and College Suites to continue their rebellion against the fraternizers.
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#4 The Curve Killers
We all have been plagued by them in class. Those people who work way to hard in their Miami plan courses and absolutely destroy any chance of an easy A. These over achievers are easy to tell apart from the average smart person. They spend way too much time in King, staying as late as 3 a.m. on a regular basis. You will never find these kids out during the week, and rarely on the weekend. They answer as many questions as they ask and often remind teachers to collect the homework. They go to every last office hour and help session for the entire time, asking meaningless questions or arguing over ¼ of a grade point. If you spot one near the seal, be sure to accidentally nudge them onto it and maybe you will get your curve.
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#5 The FRESHMAN
Freshmen, they are EVERYWHERE! You try and escape them, but they always seem to be scurrying around every inch of this campus. Still trying to find their way, they will be seen carrying giant maps of Miami, wandering aimlessly, and timidly asking where The Shriver Center is. They are so easy to spot, wearing full Abercrombie and Hollister, Sperry’s on the feet, and of course, the lanyard around the neck. If this was not easy enough to point out their froshieness, the lack of “meat” on their bones is a dead giveaway. If you find yourself wondering, “can that frame support 15 more pounds?” you’re definitely looking at a freshman. They move in herds of twenty or more uptown around 11:15 pm, and always ask where “The Woods” and “The Brick Street” are. How they don’t understand how we know they are freshmen…we will never know.
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#6 The Party Girl
We have all seen her walking up and down slant walk. She is wearing her tallest heels and a black mini skirt. Who is this you may ask? The Miami party girl. Whether it’s 90’s night or just another Saturday, you can always find a Miami party girl uptown in her finest. Short skirts and low morals, these girls flock to the Oxford bars every night of the week. You can always pick out the party girl in your classes by the dishevelled hair and x’s on her hands (sometimes on her face as well) from the night before. She has all of the connections to the frats, and somehow gets her work done too. Ladies, if you have a Party Girl friend, be kind and pick her up the next morning so she can forego the walk of shame.
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#7 The LAX Bro
This type of bro is not to be confused with the frat star. Though they have similar attributes, such as the enjoyment of looking fresh and partying a lot, they have a few distinct differences. You can often pick the LAX bro out of the crowd based on his hair. He does not as suavely cut hair such as your typical frat star, but instead chooses to rock the “flow”. This distinct hair style can be distinguished by it’s length and shaggyness. LAX Bro’s also are known for their desire to be as meaty as possible. They spend hours lifting at the gym and guzzling protein shakes. The LAX Bro is not only a great at “laxing”, but a multitude of other sports, especially the drinking kind.