Let’s face it; college is the easiest place to meet people. Believe it or not, some people say that 50% of students find their future spouse during their college years. However, that doesn’t call for organizing man-hunts every Friday night in frantic search of a husband, but if you decide to, be forewarned that the search is definitely not easy. Anyone who has met their boyfriend or husband in college can elaborate on the messy beginnings, the awkward hook ups, the insecure phase, the jealous games (those are the worst) and the “are we exclusive”/ “what does that mean to you” stage. We are all aware of the games and questions that begin after that first hook up. Her Campus is here to help sort out the post-hookup confusion and provide some red flags as to whether your relationship is a GO, OR NO GO.
1. Exchanging digits (a guaranteed awkward moment) – Will he call?
Traditionally, it’s the guy’s job to get your number, so a good way to tell if he’s interested is whether or not he asks for your digits. If he asks, he’s definitely interested- he wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t. If he doesn’t ask, there are two ways to analyze the situation: one, he is extremely shy and has a hard time doing bold things when he’s sober, or two, he’s just not that into you (reference intended). To help decode his level of interest, watch for facial expressions to indicate whether he looks nervous when he leaving, or just indifferent.
2. The goodbye – How does he say it?
How does he leave? Does he try to sneak out before you wake up? Because unless he’s just a really nice guy who didn’t want to wake you …then the “hit and run” is a red flag in our books. Does it seem like he has a practiced routine? “It’s been really nice, but I have to go and do my MIS homework” (#$h!tnoonesays). If he stays and makes conversation, this is a good sign. If he hangs out and talks with the housemates during breakfast .. even better sign. In the morning, be sure to watch for what he says before he leaves.
3. The second sighting – Is it awkward?
As much as you may not want to (or maybe you do want to) see that person around campus, you’re bound to. With the cruel way that fate works, that person will probably end up being your physics lab partner. A big factor in determining if that person wants more is how they react when you see them. Does he smile and laugh at the awkward situation? Or, does he freak out and spend the entire class looking at his notebook?
During that second sighting be sure to watch for body language and if he looks at you a lot.
4. Scouting report – What do the friends say about your encounter?
Do you know any of his friends? Do any of your friends know him? What do they say about your encounter? At the end of the day, these are all integral questions because maybe they saw things or heard things that you didn’t. This can shed some insight into how your first meeting actually went and if you should expect a second (and third) one. During you and your friends’ encounters with the hookup, watch for if he was really excited about it. Does he show some apprehension when talking to you?
5. Careful carelessness – Did he leave something behind?
This is not always a sure sign, but if someone leaves something behind, it either means they deliberately wanted a reason to have to come back, or they just really forgot it. Watch for: if your hookup has one of his friends gather his belonging from you, or if he wants to come back and get it himself.
6. Texts – I less than 3 You <3
Just because he asked for your number doesn’t always mean he wants something more (unfortunately). If he texts you, is he interested in what you’re doing this weekend? It may take a while for him to gather up the courage to text you, so don’t be discouraged if he doesn’t message you after the first few days. Throughout his potential texts, watch for: one-word texts. That usually means he’s responding for the sake of it. In this case, don’t respond. Take a little time to see if he’s thrown off by the absence of your answer.
7. Online interaction – Does he add you on social media?
Although it’s cliché, if he adds you on Facebook or follows you on Twitter, it shows that he wants to find out more about you and that he’s not afraid to show some interest. Do be careful though. Watch for if he’s simply adding you to stalk your pictures, or if he want to establish a connection with you through messaging you, commenting, or liking things on your wall.
Hopefully our seven questions to keep in mind after the first hookup will help you in your own personal life going forward decide whether or not your hookup is interested and worth your time. Remember, sometimes all isn’t fair in love and war.