An Op-Ed piece by guest columnist Caitlin ShaheenÂ
I spent some time yesterday with a new male friend. He is the kind of guy that has the tendency to make outlandish statements that induce an immediate eye roll. Throughout the day, his actions and comments became more and more ridiculous. I couldn’t help but wonder, in my most Carrie Bradshaw voice, what happened to men?
It’s laughable to think of a guy calling you on the phone, asking you on a date, and picking you up for said date in his own car. Is it too much to ask that a guy doesn’t send snap chats of you after you spend the night to detail his conquest? Or play the soundtrack to A Star is Born while you’re hanging out for the first time? And then proceed to tell all of his friends. Gone are the days of chivalry and decency.
Nowadays, a guy will message you on Instagram, have you meet up with a group of his friends and order everyone a round of green tea shots. Don’t know what a green tea shot is? I envy you. Then these same men will complain about how their lips are too chapped from the shots.
Are we to blame? When we were fighting for feminism, did we forget to mention all we were asking for was a little respect? RIP Aretha.
Maybe what we did get is more sensitive men. Guys that hear you when you say something bothers you and try to get to the route of the issue.
What did I learn from this reflection? That some guys measure distance by bird or lime drive time. Some guys abbreviate miserable to “miz”. But these might be the same guys that remember every story you have ever told them and will turn to you for help.
Men have changed. But maybe it’s not that bad. We, as women, have changed too.
Full disclosure: every reference in this essay is about the same guy. In one day.