Loving Your Un-Improved Self

Self love is easier when you feel like you’re happy with the way you are. You’ve reached a lot of your goals and you feel capable and independent. Self love gets harder when you don’t feel worthy of it. You may keep saying, I’ll love myself when I’ve become the motivated, assertive person I want to be. I’ll love myself when I reach these goals and break these bad habits. But time goes by, and habits are difficult to break.

So, what do you do in the meantime? Do you continue hating yourself until you change? Self-love and compassion isn’t something to deny yourself until you feel worthy. Loving yourself is a daily decision and it’s really difficult right now, but it doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy. Here are a few things you can do to love your un-improved self. 

1. Use your support network. 

Make sure that you have someone that will talk you into handling things in a level-headed manner. When you’re disappointed in yourself and question your overall purpose, it’s good to have people that are gentle with you and remind you that you’re thinking catastrophically. The right people will value you as you are and help you with your specific goals. If you fail, those that love you in the right manner, will not judge you for it. We’re all different and will go through life in our own ways. Surround yourself with people that you can grow with, it isn’t a competition. 

2. Be patient with the person you are now. 

Ever heard the famous quote, “love is patient, love is kind”? This applies to self love too! You gotta stay patient with yourself. Sometimes things take YEARS to accomplish. Maybe you haven’t found what works for you, but keep trying! Keep getting up and trying. Don’t give up on yourself! The solution will never be, “wow, I’m just terrible, I can’t do anything right.” 

3. Consider getting some kind of therapy. 

You don’t have to have a mental illness to get therapy. Therapy can help with low self esteem and help you figure out how to love yourself better.  It can help you change your habits in healthy ways and love yourself as you are right now. It’s not an easy fix, it’s hard work and sometimes you’ll hear things you don’t want to hear.  It’s something beneficial that you can do for YOU and a great way to show yourself some care. Getting your negative thought process examined can help you for years to come. 

4. Do things that make you happy. 

You’ve probably heard this a lot. It doesn’t have to be something huge. It can be little things like hanging out with people who make you happy and picking up new hobbies. Take the time sometimes to get out of your comfort zone to find what makes you happy. Sometimes even doing things that make us happy take a lot of effort in our lowest moments. Push yourself a little and see if it pays off. 

5. Try not to see things as black and white 

You may see yourself as a complete failure every time you mess up. And if you feel like you mess up a lot, then that only makes your self esteem lower. Realize that the way you’re viewing yourself isn’t really accurate. You’re more likely to succeed when you get a clearer view of yourself and your capabilities. 

Take things one day at a time. Change doesn’t happen over night as the old saying goes. It takes time and you’ll just have to love yourself through the process. Walk yourself through the journey, don’t wait until you become the person you want to be. The person you are now, is worthy of love and kindness. Convincing yourself of that, is a huge accomplishment you should be proud of.