We’ve all had those moments where we feel lost, overwhelmed, useless, and unsure how we are doing in life. As a college student, this is normal, and trust me, I have felt it many times. I am here to let you know… YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Oftentimes (according to my co-star) I have trouble thinking creatively and feel burnt out. This has been the result of putting too much on my plate, even though I might not feel it. We have been conditioned to think that, on top of going to classes, we should also have a job, extracurriculars, internships, hobbies, a social life, etc… IT’S TOO MUCH!
Now, take a deep breath…
I’ve gone through the process and understand when you need a shift in your life. Since the start of 2022, I have been doing just that. I ask the world to give me perspective, and here is what I’ve learned along the way:
Being honest with yourself…
I tend to do that thing where I pretend I can handle everything, and then inside I am internally crashing like that scene in Sponge-Bob where there is an office fire in his brain. To prevent these mind-filling forest fires, you have to do the first step and be honest with yourself. Ask for guidance and make big decisions on what you are comfortable with. Whether that be at school, work, in a relationship, certain situations. You have to think and speak your truth- otherwise, you might regret what follows. Don’t dig yourself a bigger hole you can’t climb out of only because you couldn’t be honest with yourself from the beginning.
Believe that you can do it!
Sometimes when I am feeling very overwhelmed, I get this little voice in my head that tells me I can’t accomplish my goal. I stress enough to a point where I feel like I am already going to fail, so I either don’t try or finish what I am aiming to do. This little voice has cost me so much in my life, and it’s easy to get off track of yourself. When this happens, I’ve learned to control it better. Instead of hiding, I ask for help from my teachers, friends, family, and more. I stop trying to fake it because, honestly, you will not make it. Being honest and accepting others’ help has been hard, but supportive. I learned how to manage my time better this year, and believe that I am capable of doing it. We all have to start somewhere, so let’s do what we can to finish it!
Do what you can; not what others think you should be doing.
When we put too many projects on our shoulders, we may get stretched too thin and begin to fall apart. Each pillar in our lives starts to crumble like that scene in the Disney movie, Inside Out, because we don’t have enough energy to support them. So here’s my advice, map out what you do on a weekly basis. Whether it’s on a sheet of paper or on a calendar, go through your daily routine and see where they fit on your timeline. Then really look at what you have been doing and cut out anything that feels unnecessary. Make sure you save time for yourself for a self-care day, DIY session, going out, anything! Next, see what are the most important responsibilities for you, like classes and school work time, job shifts, if you are in charge of anything for clubs; basically what you think is important in your life. Then, if you have the time, add in any extra projects, club activities, shifts, social events, and create a routine that you want to do and be happy with. Hopefully, by doing this you can eliminate the smaller things that bring you great stress to give you room to breathe. Don’t feel bad if you have to tell your friends, family, clubs, jobs, that you need a day off or can’t spend time together. You are only one person and you can’t be so many things at once. Those who love and respect you will understand because you can’t make everyone happy, but you can start by putting yourself first.
YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE!
I get this feeling all the time when others around me are doing more in their lives than I am. I don’t know how these people balance their lives, but we have to remember that everyone is different. We all balance things differently which means we can only handle so much. If you feel discouraged because the person next to you has taken on more opportunities, maybe ask them how they do it. Sit down, talk with them, and get an insight into what they’ve been doing and how they manage. They might have a different process than you do, or you might need to think about how to rearrange a couple of things to do what you want. I have so many friends that each do amazing things, and sometimes I find it jaw-dropping how much they can accomplish. However, you have to remember that everyone is different and not everyone has the same amount of time, patience, or mentality to do multiple things at once. Figure out what fits for you to accomplish the things you want to. You have the power to do great things, you just need to believe in your honest self that where you are right now is exactly where you need to be.
Hopefully, the mistakes I’ve learned can inspire and help you with some questions you may have pondered in your head. Each one of you is valid and amazing, but it’s okay to need some perspective from time to time.
HCXO, Valentina