There are five love languages that a person can identify with in order to understand how they best receive love. These include words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time.
Now, most people have a predominant love language, but you can have more than one. Whether you are single, dating, in a relationship, married, or in a complicated “situationship”, understanding your love language (and your partners if applicable) is essential to being happy. We are going to dive into each love language, and you can take some quizzes that will help you figure it out!
So, let’s roll y’all ;)
1. Words of Affirmation
This love language is based on receiving love through hearing, i.e. being told you are loved. People who resonate with this love language love to hear uplifting words such as“I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I need you”, or voicing what they like about you often. This love language is important to sprinkle into most relationships because communication is key. However, for some people, words of affirmation are less important to them and they may not enjoy constant attention or there may be something else that is more meaningful for them. Words of affirmation are the perfect love language for hopeless romantics and any romance novel enthusiasts. Words of affirmation don’t always have to be applied to relationships, though. In the professional world, many employees like to hear encouraging words from their boss so they know they are doing well and are appreciated.
2. Physical Touch
This love language is based on receiving love through physical contact such as holding hands, hugs, closeness, kissing, massages, cuddling, and sexual intimacy. This love language is so important to any relationship because physical touch is what truly separates a friendship from a relationship (generally speaking). For people who identify with this love language, most are generally super into PDA and are always ready to cozy up to their S/O. Other people may not identify as deeply with this aspect of relationships publicly but do privately, or physical intimacy may not be essential to the day-to-day of the relationship. Physical touch can also be a major point of contact for couples to know if their relationship is working – just because you may like someone’s personality doesn’t’ mean you are physically attracted to them. Being in touch (pun intended) with each other’s love languages is so important so you don’t get mixed signals!
3. Acts of Service
This love language is based on receiving love through sentimental action. This could mean helping with a task, completing a project, doing the dishes, folding the laundry (as shown above), running some errands, or filling up your partner’s gas tank – basically anything that takes a chore/task off your partner’s shoulders. This happens to be my mom’s love language; I know this because she not only explained it to me for about 45 minutes while she was cooking dinner (I love you endlessly, mom) but because it applies to more than just her spouse! Acts of service can be a more difficult love language to possess though, because your partner has to be willing to complete the acts of service on a regular basis. This can also get dicey since part of the reason acts of service is so nice is because your partner does them willingly and as showing love. If your partner feels pressure or guilt when they do not do certain acts, this can lead to arguments and resentment. Acts of service is something that I belief everyone should try to do for their significant other as well as their friends, family, neighbors, and community.
4. Receiving Gifts
This love language is based on receiving love through being given gifts. Now, this love language is the most controversial of the five. This is mostly due to the fact that it is obviously based more on a material item rather than communication, intimacy, or action. However, some people truly find meaning from their loved ones through gifts because gifts show how much your partner knows and cares for you. People who identify with this love language are not necessarily materialistic or gold-diggers, as some literature and articles state. However, this love language does require some monetary constraints that can be a point of argument when someone always expects fancy gifts or to always have dinner be paid for. I will say that I do enjoy when my partner gets me a meaningful present for my birthday or Christmas or if they traveled somewhere cool, but not all the time.
5. Quality Time
This love language is based on receiving love through just spending time together. I saved this one for last because it is my favorite one & is my personal love language. Quality time can be watching a movie, taking a walk, having a conversation, going to dinner, cooking together, brushing your teeth, or simply sitting close to one another doing nothing at all. People who identify with this love language tend to enjoy deep conversations about the future or finding day-to-day things to do together instead of separately. Quality time is important in any relationship regardless of if it’s platonic or intimate. However, it is essential to balance this and not get discouraged in moments when you cannot achieve this, because let’s be honest – life can get in the way. Something I like about this love language is that it is easy to sneak into daily routines; every day, you should set aside time to connect with the person you love. Tip: if this is your love language, remember that QUANTITY of time does not mean QUALITY time, so do not feel as if something is wrong with you if you are feeling like you and your S/O are not getting this in as frequently as you would like.
Now that we all have a little background knowledge, here are the love language tests you can take to figure out how you best receive love and start communicating that to current and future partners.
This website asks you side-by-side questions about what you find more meaningful – kind of like a love-based Would You Rather. Then once it is finished it will break down your personal love style in each category. I enjoyed this one because it touched on all the love languages and gave me percentages for each one.
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
My Personal Love Language Results:
- 30% Quality Time
- 27% Physical Touch
- 23% Words of Affirmation
- 17% Acts of Service
- 3% Receiving Gifts
This website is actually another article about love languages that I read a little while back written by Kelly Gonsalves. This article has a shorter quiz that is more multiple choice oriented. This test doesn’t break down each love language, but it does give tell you your main love language based on your answers!
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-my-love-language-quiz/
My Love Language Results: Quality Time
Have fun exploring & here’s to love – no matter who it’s with or what it looks like in your life <3
Until next time,
HCXO,
Maddie Rose
