To U-Haul or Not to U-Haul

There are often two ways to look at relationships. I want both perspectives to come through: the perspective of jumping into love, and the other simply jumping out.

“U-hauling” refers to the stereotype that women loving women, lesbians, sometimes rushing into things like moving into a home together. It is a cute little dream to be with your best friend and have pets and design the new space. 

I think of Ellen and Portia when I think of gay women in the media, and some other celebrities like Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor. Same-sex relationships are finally getting represented in the media as well. There is more representation for LGBTQ+ people in Netflix shows, TV shows, and movies. 

Even with media representation, I still think being in a same-sex relationship can be difficult. I have not actually met someone that is as ready as I am to risk everything for love. When I think about why this is, I think it has to do with the way people date today. People want to stay in the “talking stage” because it’s easier and less complicated than being “official.” In the age of “ghosting,” I think that can be why some people just take extra precautions about dating and want to be careful with their hearts. It is a complex time for people since connections can be frayed when we block, delete, or simply stop messaging someone. People are told to move on, get over it. But hey, these things may still be impactful to someone. Even though it’s behind a phone screen instead of in person, it can be just as hurtful.

To the people like me, that are not afraid of falling in love and swipe on tinder for more than a hookup, come find me!  And to some people where Tinder swiping is for fun or to have another follower on Snapchat and Instagram, make sure that is communicated with the people interested in you. The thing I have learned through all of this is that rushing into things often leads to heartache. Slow and steady may win the race until you find that person who is 100 percent “in love” or committed to you. You should not change how you love just because of society’s expectations of you. Just be you, and someone will appreciate that. 

On a tangential note, if we have media representations that show healthy relationships between two women, who knows what will happen! Maybe one day I’ll find my person to eat breakfast in bed with, have cats and dogs, and vacation together.  Maybe we will even use a U-HAUL to move in together.

HXCO, Sharon

 

• complicated
• LGBTQ community