It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover caught my eye when Lace Morris from season twenty of The Bachelor posted a picture of it on her Instagram story a few months back. It was after her ended engagement with her former bae from Bachelor in Paradise, Grant Kemp (RIP Grace!). The combination of looking for a new novel to read and purchasing anything endorsed by someone from The Bachelor franchise led me to thoughtlessly purchase this book without even reading the description (plus I was totally judging the book by its cover because it’s too dang cute). I thought that it could either be one of my faves or one of those books that I’d read the first few paragraphs of and then leave it sitting under my bed until I move out of my apartment. Since I’m writing a book review of it, you can probably guess that I finished it.
I want to start off by saying holy smokes. I now give myself permission to continue to buy things without thinking it through because I’m not saying this lightly: this book changed my freaking life. As someone who has previously been in an abusive relationship, this book really stuck with me and even helped me understand my behaviors during and after my relationship. While mine was emotional abuse and this book featured physical abuse, the patterns are still similar for each situation.
This book starts off by describing a scenario too familiar for people who have been with an abusive partner. The love interest, Ryle, is very intriguing and immediately draws the protagonist, Lily, in. He’s charming and puts her a little on edge. Lily knows right away that she shouldn’t be involved with this man (but, obviously she does get involved, otherwise the book would be over). As their relationship progresses, you’ll fall in love with them as a couple and him as a person. You’ll be thinking to yourself, “Where the heck can I find a man like Ryle?”
Without much warning, Ryle forever changes the dynamic of their relationship. With abuse in the picture, Lily has to decide if she can continue to fall in the cycle of abuse, or if she’s strong enough to break free.
This book is important to read for people who have been in abusive or manipulative relationships and for people who have not experienced it. For those who have experienced this toxic environment, it can validate the way you were feeling during the relationship. For those who haven’t experienced it, it can hopefully give you insight on those currently in these situations. It may be obvious as an outsider to be quick to judge the woman for not leaving her partner, but there’s so much that goes on inside of her head.
A quote that stuck out to me was said by Lily’s mother, who was married to Lily’s abusive father. She said, “We all have a limit. What we’re willing to put up with before we break. When I married your father, I knew exactly what my limit was. But slowly…with every incident…my limit was pushed a little more. And a little more. The first time your father hit me, he was immediately sorry. He swore it would never happen again. The second time he hit me, he was even more sorry. The third time it happened, it was more than a hit. It was a beating. And every single time, I took him back. But the fourth time, it was only a slap. And when that happened, I felt relieved. I remember thinking, ‘At least he didn’t beat me this time. This wasn’t so bad.’” This is such a common feeling for the victims in abusive relationships. The feeling of relief is present because they know that it could have ended so much worse. After an episode, the abuser apologizes and slowly transforms into the person she fell in love with. It’s addicting to know that there’s still goodness inside of a person who does such harm because one will always be searching for his better moments.
If you’re interested in this emotional book, check it out here! Overall, I would give this a solid 11/10 because it’s pretty freaking amazing.