Horoscope [hȯr-ə-skōp] (noun): A forecast of a person’s future typically based on the relative positions of the stars and planets.
Somehow, I doubt Orion’s belt knows that I’m going to have a “chill and creative day.” There’s one thing, however, that I know will correctly predict my next 24 hours: coffee. So here’s a little coffee horoscope to guide you through your beverage choices during finals week!
Home-Brewed Black
You’re about to start any normal day. You’ve got a decent amount of sleep and only need a little kick start for your morning. Today will be pretty average.
Hot Chocolate
You “don’t drink caffeine,” but you’ll be whining about how tired you are in a few hours and how you want a go take a nap. Order a mocha next time to get your foot in the coffee door. Embrace life and wake up!
Chai Tea Latte
You’re trying to reenergize with a “healthier” looking option. I mean, tea’s good for you, right? Try attending a yoga class later or de-stress with a coloring book to compliment your chilled out vibes, not to mention this will help you keep calm during finals week too!
Frappuccino
There are a few things on your to-do list today, but since you ordered a Frappuccino, you’re still not in full-on adulating mode yet, and that’s okay. The sugar rush from the whip alone going to make you hype for the rest of the day, watch out world…
Cappuccino
You enjoy the simple life. It’s the perfect day to take your drink back to your desk and spend some time working to get ahead. You’ll get crazy for your next coffee shop visit.
Depth Charge
Ah, the Depth Charge: espresso added to black coffee. You’re going to have one hell of a day when you go for extra caffeine poured into your caffeine. May the professors be ever in your favor. Wondering whether or not you should love the extra caffeine or leave it? Check out this week’s feature, “Caffeine and Your Body: What You Need to Know,” to find out!
Venti Carmel Macchiato with Four Extra Shots of Espresso
Congratulations, you just realized you’re on deadline! Your procrastination has finally come around to bite you in the a*s, and you need of a small miracle to get it together… aka this caffeinated monster. Good luck surviving today.
No matter what your cup o’ joe says about the day ahead, take it in stride! The caffeine will get you through, and you’ll be ready to embrace tomorrow’s brew.