Growing up, I always had my one dream college, but by the time my junior year hit I realized that that particular school wasn’t the right fit for me and I was put in a situation where I had to start over my life plan. Suddenly having to pick out a school was stressful and overwhelming. I didn’t love any of the 15+ schools I toured, but I liked almost all of them, thinking I could be happy anywhere. I ended up picking a school on a limb that had greek life, a mid size campus, decent distance away from home, and a lot of school spirit–everything I thought I wanted. But suddenly I realized I didn’t have a desire to go to that school. I eventually reached out to my older sister for help and she told me to check out the University of Minnesota. Even though I only grew up 20 minutes away, I thought I wouldn’t like it because it was so big. But I took her advice and just went on a tour one chilly March day and fell in love. I loved the big size, the roaring school spirit and the prestige of going to an amazing school. I knew I would feel proud to say I went the University of Minnesota, and other schools I applied for just didn’t make me feel that way.
So, I immediately went home and applied for the U, knowing I was past the deadline and wouldn’t get in this late. I wasn’t surprised when I was waitlisted. I knew now I had to pick one of my other schools and if it went awfully I could always transfer, although I really didn’t want to. I went off to my other school reluctantly and didn’t hate it at all. I had so much fun there and created many memories. I made amazing friends, loved joining greek life and loved my roommates. From the outside, it looked like my life was pretty good. I had no reason to not like where I was. But something inside me just felt off. I knew I wasn’t really meeting people as much as I would have liked to, and I just knew there was more for me out there. I had seen my friends from home talk about how obsessed they were with their schools and how much they wanted to go back to school ASAP, but I was quite the opposite. I found myself wishing I could go home each weekend, and when I was able to go home, I dreaded going back. There was just something inside me that made me feel so unhappy and I had never felt like that before. Being away from friends, in a toxic on-off relationship with a guy, far from home, meeting not as many people as I expected and not getting what I had expected out of college, all led to me getting this overall very somber feeling. I had never been so unmotivated, crabby and sad. I lost over 20 pounds, I only went where I was required to go, and I just wanted to be back at home. After much consideration and realization, I knew this couldn’t be it. I needed to transfer.
I had only been there one semester. Had I really given it my best shot? Would times get better? I started thinking of all the things I could change to make the school better. On one of my many crying phone calls to my mom she said, “Do you see yourself staying there for 4 years? If not, what are you waiting for?” What I came to realize is that it just wasn’t a fit for me and no matter what I did, that wouldn’t change the school.
That’s why I’m here to tell you IT’S OKAY TO TRANSFER. I was so caught up in what others from home would think, but I realized so many students from my hometown also transferred after one semester. And nobody thought I “couldn’t make it away from home,” in fact, they were proud that I was bettering myself and doing something to make me happy. There’s no better feeling than people saying “You look so happy.” I hadn’t heard that in a long time. It was a nice refresher from the usual “Are you okay? You look like something’s bothering you.” I was ecstatic each time someone told me they could tell I was so much happier.
That being said, it’s not going to be easy. It’s a scary and long process starting over, especially in the middle of the year. Saying goodbye to my friends at my old school was incredibly hard, especially knowing I wouldn’t have any yet at my new school, but doing something for the betterment of your mental health is a HUGE step and something you should never be ashamed of! Be proud of yourself for making a positive change in your life. Transferring isn’t easy for anyone, but the temporary struggle of starting over is better than the long term struggle of staying at a school you dislike for four years or more.
Now at the U, my mental health is so much better. I have amazing friends, love the sorority I was lucky enough to affiliate with here and the opportunities this campus has given me. I love walking to class and just realizing how much I adore this beautiful campus, how much I love my life here.
Do I miss my friends at my old school? Absolutely. I love going up there to visit and will forever cherish those friendships and be eternally grateful that they supported me transferring and knew I would be happier this way. They were absolutely right, and I can’t imagine being anywhere but at the U. I know it’s scary and nerve wracking but sometimes you just need to go with your gut feeling and do what’s best for you.