Through living, we learn things about ourselves and how we should live our lives. Since celebrating my 19th birthday, I wanted to share what I’ve learned so far.
1. Sometimes life sucks, but you can still enjoy it
Sometimes finding a small victory to enjoy on the harder days can help you get through it.
2. Cursing is not inherently bad, as long as you know your audience
If you are comfortable with profanity, own it. But, know when to leave that language at the door. Respect that there is a time and place.
3. A brie grilled cheese with jam is the best dinner
It makes a grilled cheese sandwich ten times better.
4. Write stuff down! Your future self will thank you
Start that journal, even if you only remember to write in it once every four months. Your life is worth documenting, and years down the road you will be grateful you did.
5. Pepcid and ibuprofen are a must-have for every home or dorm.
As a girl who is prone to stomach pains and headaches, these come in handy more than you think. You never know when you (or your friend) will need it.
6. No one cares about what you do as much as you.
Everyone worries about the embarrassing things they do and overthinks about the mistakes they make. We assume everyone else notices these things, but they don’t. No one cares about the small mistakes you make as much as you do.
7. Anxiety is never shameful
Anxious thoughts are often the ones we push down and ignore. We pretend that everything is okay and keep the anxiety at bay waiting for the moment it becomes too much. This is not something to be ashamed of. No one goes through life without anxieties, it is part of living. You cannot control anxiety, but you can control how you cope with it.
8. Friendships that last don’t rely on constant communication.
As a kid, I thought that the best friendships required that we see each other as often as possible. As I have gotten older, I realized friendships are not built on proximity. A friendship that lasts does not require you to spend every moment together, they allow each person to take a day to themselves when needed. Friends who are willing to meet each other halfway, and accept that sometimes life gets in the way, have friendships that last. It does not mean they forget you, because they are always cheering you on wherever they are.
9. Drink a glass of water every night, no matter what.
10. Always expect missteps in life
No one is going to do everything right the first time. Instead of dwelling on the mistakes, learn to make something out of those mistakes.
11. It is okay to change your mind
No one comes to college knowing exactly what they want and how they are going to get there. They just pretend they do. Accept that your visions and dreams will change over time. And that is okay, no one expects you to agree with the decisions you made at 14.
12. Everyone is worthy of love, including you.
Reading romance novels and watching endless loops of romantic comedies makes love feel unattainable. However, just because you are not experiencing swoon-worthy love stories does not mean you are unloved. Love comes in more than one form. You are surrounded by love from friends and family. Lean on that love when life gets you down.
13. Platonic love is just as valuable as romantic love.
Platonic love is not written in novels and plays quite like romantic love is. It is not depicted as someone shouting ‘I love you’ from the rooftops or serenading someone, but platonic love is valuable. It is the texts checking in on a friend after a long week, the Facetime calls from friends far away, and the spontaneous adventures that make your stress momentarily fade. Romantic love is the one many search for, but it is important to look for platonic love as well.
14. you are allowed to be upset, but you shouldn’t let that sadness define you.
Everyone experiences failures in life. Maybe you don’t get that internship you hoped for or you didn’t get the best exam grade. Cry, scream about it, and let all those negative emotions out. But, once you have cried, dry those tears, get up, and continue moving forward.
15. Find joy in moments of chaos.
Life is never picture-perfect. Things will go wrong, it will get messy and at times even ugly. Instead of dwelling on those moments where you are scrambling, find the joy in it. Realize that while it is chaotic, the life you are living is special, and the chaos is what makes these moments more meaningful.
16. Write letters.
As a sentimental person, I have kept every single letter someone has written to me. Even the ones written on scraps of paper. Do not be afraid to write down what someone means to you, because you never know when they will need a reminder of the kind of love you have for them. Letters serve as more than a piece of paper, they are a gentle reminder of the support systems a person has created in their life.
17. If you know they’ll take it, offer your friend a warm drink.
Never once have my offers of a hot chocolate or apple cider been met with a grumble. Instead, it is met with a smile and a small moment where they forget why they are feeling down. I find the best remedy for a bad day or an anxious study-filled night is to offer someone a warm drink and some space to do whatever they need.
18. Luck plays an important, and terrifying part in life.
A lot of the opportunities you gain and lose are not awarded based on any lack of worth, intelligence, or enthusiasm. It simply comes down to an unpredictable chain of good and bad luck. No one can escape it, but they can learn to accept it.
19. You are a beautiful collage of everyone who has ever meant something to you
Whether we choose to or not, we collect aspects of ourselves from other people. The words we use in conversations come from friends and family who say them to us first. Our music taste is often influenced by another person in our life– whether that be an old lover or a friend. Our morals and values are passed down from generation to generation and adapted as new people come into our lives. You are a work of art made from every person who has come into your life, constantly changing and evolving into something new.