I sit here on a Sunday night patiently waiting for the new episode of Euphoria. I had my Sunday night sushi while watching Girls on HBO Max wondering, do I spend too much time alone?
The idea of being alone can sometimes be scary. I mean why is it that we seem to feel bad for people who spend time alone? The truth is, spending time alone can be one of the scariest, but also healing, things you can do for yourself. In a city as crowded as New York, it is rare to find yourself completely alone, but I catch myself feeling lost sometimes when I am. I take a step back, I breathe, and I understand how lucky I am to be able to find peace in it. Fast-paced living in the city gets overwhelming, and I find myself forgetting t actually take the time to check in with myself. How was my day? Did I drink enough water? How is my mom doing at home? These simple things are forgettable when you never find time to be truly alone. Alone. I just repeat the word to emphasize that it isn’t something to be feared but actually, something to cherish.Â
Distractions can be an easy way to forget about what is hiding back in your brain. Are these distractions the reason why we pass off spending time alone as a sad way to spend the day? In the ritual of daily life, we wake up, brush our teeth, cover up the dark circles under our eyes, and go on to interact with many different people that complete our quota of interactions with other functioning members of society. Of course, some are friends, some are faux, but none of them are you. Are we meeting our self-check quota for the day? I don’t really know why but the song “Love in the Time of Socialism” by the artist Yellow House, always leads to me reflecting on myself. The calming melody and lyrics of self-discovery make me dig into my own brain and think about what my dreams are. Cheesy, but if you listen to the lyrics, I hope you share a similar experience. If that song can make me appreciate the time I get to spend alone, I encourage you all to find that thing that does it for you.Â
Appreciate and find joy in all the time you spend with the people who you love because don’t get me wrong, they make life exciting and they make you the person you are, but also respect yourself enough to know when you just need a break. Maybe you read this and think I am bitter at the age of 19, or a grandma for preaching the importance of being alone, and if you do, well that is just unfortunate. At 19 years old, I have this valuable tool that has allowed me to no longer fear being alone. I no longer feel the need to allow the distractions to take over and turn me away from the essential act of spending time alone. Set aside even 15 minutes a day to check in. Ask those questions. Take yourself into consideration. Be okay with being alone. It’s really not that scary.