I was introduced to Bumble by my best friend over this past summer. I had heard of various dating apps before, but I had never any desire to join one until recently. Essentially, Bumble is a location-based networking app similar to Tinder, but when two people both swipe right on each other, the girl initiates the conversation. Which, while a good idea, in theory, was one of the more nerve-wracking aspects for me to come to terms with.
As someone who often lets her anxiety run the show, creating my profile went from a pretty standard task to something along the lines of open heart surgery. As much as I love social media (to the point where I decided to major in Communications) I’ve never felt like my online presence truly represented who I was. For one thing, I like to believe I’m a lot funnier in person and don’t always know how to communicate my specific tone across text without annoying anyone with excessive emoji use. Also, I had undergone somewhat of a “glow up” over the summer and my long-time struggle with acne had started to clear up. (Thank you, Curology!) Although I didn’t have many pictures that showed off my new look. It seems like a simple solution, “That’s easy. Just snap a few selfies.” After a while of agonizing over creating the “perfect profile,” I worked with what I had.
The idea of talking to complete strangers on dating apps was also something that filled me with anxiety. Sure, it’s a pretty low risk considering Bumble is a safe app and you can report any inappropriate behavior, and it’s extremely unlikely I would ever run into anyone in person. But I’m still using my real pictures and real name, as I would hope everyone else on the app is. When you’re communicating with someone in person, you don’t have much time to “plan out” what you’re going to say or how you’re going to act, you’re just yourself. When you communicate through the buffer of social media, there’s plenty of time to over analyze and question your every move. That’s what I did.
The process of browsing guys to swipe right on was interesting and entertaining. In my experience, guys either had way too much information about themselves on their profiles or none at all, which was worse. In the profile section on Bumble, there are little informational sections that you can choose to feature on your profile, like your height, if you smoke, if you’re in school and even your zodiac sign. Some of these proved more entertaining than others. For example, there’s a family section in which you can indicate your “ideal plans for children” which seems like a lot of information for a pretty low key dating app aimed for young adults. Before I was aware of this feature, I kept wondering why I was seeing “want kids someday” on guys profiles.
I found myself beginning to swipe left on guys not only because I wasn’t interested, but some because I felt they wouldn’t be interested in me. My friend was quick to call me out on this when I claimed one profile I swiped left on was “too pretty”, to which she replied, “What’s the risk? Someone might surprise you.” And I was surprised to swipe right on some very attractive guys and see that we had matched. If I swiped right on someone I didn’t match with, I just told myself they’ve been off Bumble and haven’t viewed my profile yet. Bumble can be a nice little ego boost if you remember not to take it too seriously.
Once I had gone through the process of browsing and matching with guys, I still had more work to do. As a female on Bumble, it was my responsibility to begin the conversations. I tried to opt for something better than the standard, “Hey” as I know I kind of hate it when I get that text first. I tried opening up with a question or nice comment about some information on their profile, such as asking what they were currently watching on Netflix or their favorite place in NYC. With one conversation, I even ventured as far as to say, “Hey, you’re cute,” I know I always like hearing that.
Some conversations went further than others, although I never seemed to break out of that “painfully awkward beginning small talk phase”, even with the help of some of my friends all teaming up on my side of the conversation. My friends told me not to be bothered, that, “That’s just how it is sometimes”. It made me genuinely curious as to how girls went above and beyond on Bumble and actually met up with people in person. I put in a decent amount of effort for the sake of curiosity and to write an article about my experiences and I still had no luck. I only had my profile set to Bumble Date rather than the alternative channels which are Bumble BFF strictly for making friends or Bumble Bizz for networking. I might have more luck with one of those, I guess I’ll have to see.
At the end of the day, no matter what you use Bumble for, the important thing to remember is to have fun and be respectful. I, for one, had some fun with it and was proud of myself for taking the (albeit small) risk and putting myself out there. While it has worked in the favor of some people, I don’t think I’ll be finding my next love interest on Bumble. For now, I’ll stick to coffee shops and parks in NYC waiting for that fated meet-cute.