I’ve never been great at communication. Maybe it’s the introvert in me but I’ve always been the type to wait for someone to call or text me instead of reaching out. So, that being said, one of my biggest fears when leaving for school was completely losing touch with my friends from home, especially since I was horrible at connecting with them when we all lived in the same neighborhood. How would living in completely different regions play out? As this semester has gone by, I’ve realized that no two friendships from high school were the same on the level of contact.
If you had asked me before I left for school to write down a list of people I’d lose touch with, my list would be 100% accurate. All throughout my pre-college educational career, I was desperate to be accepted by a particular group. However, despite all of my efforts I could never get past the in school friend level of friendship. I realized that there’s no point in chasing after old friendships when there are plenty of new ones waiting to grow.
Then there’s my two best friends. My best girl friend and I have never been great at staying in touch, even when we lived down the block from each other. So, I feared for our friendship with us going to colleges in different states would end. This past week we finally got to sit down and talk to each other over FaceTime and it was honestly like no time has passed.
Oddly though, I found that being apart from my best guy friend has only made us closer. He graduated a year before me and we slowly lost touch over his first year away from home. But this year, we’ve been talking much more than we have in the past. It’s almost as if we understand each other better now that we are both in college. I know that these two friends will always be there for me no matter how much or how little we talk, we may be in different places but, we always have each other’s backs.
What I found even though I hate to admit it, is that I don’t miss people nearly as much as I thought I would. Yes, there is always a weird sense of melancholy when I see my high school friends post pictures with total strangers. Then I take a step back and look at all of the new friends I have and the feeling goes away. In October, I went home for Columbus Day Weekend and reunited with a bunch of friends. It was nice to see them, but something just felt off. I felt as though there was so much silence. Silence that wouldn’t have been present a few months earlier. There is so much about our new lives that we all don’t know about each other. They can no longer fully understand rants about professors or school drama. Their knowledge isn’t much more than the name of roommates. I loved getting to see them but part of me couldn’t wait to get to campus.
I know as we all process further into our lives, those high school friendships will continue to change for better or worse. But, all I know is that distance can make people grow apart or bring them together. And both are okay. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide which friendships are worth fighting for and which can fade.