If you are anything like myself, the holiday season tends to be more stressful than enjoyable. Year after year I have found it harder to be excited for happy about the holiday season. I hate that I feel this way since this time of year is supposed to be filled with joy, love, and good times. The root of my dread starts with the first âroundâ of questions no doubt any college student gets when being back home.
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How are classes going?
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What are you majoring in, again?
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Oh, you know my boy is (insert any stereotypical âsmartâ major here)
And, the one that everyone is bound to be askedâŠ.
*family member looks you up and down
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Well, youâve gained a little weight, havenât you?
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I would say sorry, but Iâm not. The round of questions asked every holiday are not only tiring but is inflates peopleâs self-consciousness whether it be about classes, grades, body image, etc. Itâs questions like these and many more that make a lot of âfamily timeâ more like âinterrogation timeâ. People say âoh, itâs just because they care about you!â and Iâm sure they do—to an extent. In my opinion, if they wanted the truth, they would ask you before seeing you once or twice out of the year. They donât really want the truthful answer because if youâre actually struggling, youâd say that and then they donât know what to think. This is all very morbid, I know. Trust me, I have a point to all of this.
   I have got my own apartment now, friends, multiple jobs, etc. It sounds great, but I have never felt more disconnected from my family than I do now. I come home for a little amount of time in contrast to last year when I stayed home for the entirety of Thanksgiving and winter break (a week and one month). I do not have the pleasure of not having to worry about December 1st rent due or January 1st for that matter. If I were to go home for the entire month of December…well thatâs an entire month of not working. I have started my own life, but still in the in-between stage of not a full adult since I am still in school and whatnot. My family? They have continued on without me, not that I expected them to stop living after I had gone, but it is almost like my presence wouldnât matter if I were to show for the holidays or not because they already have their own plan. This backstory is to build on my ideas for staying positive, healthy, and sane during the holidays if you are going through a similar situation.
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Remember who you are.
The holidays are full of different people and more importantly, different opinions. Be open for discussion, hear others out, but stick to your own beliefs and values. Try not to sway one way or the other to please another for their approval. Itâs hard, I know, but at the end of the day, youâll feel great for standing up for what you believe in.
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Donât forget to take a breath.
Step outside, inhale the crisp fall air and cool down. My anxiety is peaked at this time, so even just taking a minute or two alone helps to ease the tension and ache building in my chest.Â
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Sip a lil wine (if youâre old enough).
Pour yourself a glass of wine and sit back. Yes, the holidays are stressful, but trying to hold onto those blissful moments are dire. Laying back in a comfy couch while everyone comerces around you pairs well with a glass of your favorite beverage.
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Be truthful.
I said before that when family asks those questions, they are looking for the bland answer that everyone gives. Donât give them what they want. Be honest and open even if their jaws drop. It will either open their eyes a little more, or it will keep them off your back for the rest of the evening. Any way, win-win.
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FinallyâŠ.
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Have a good time.
Easier said than done, I know. I struggle with this even if it isnât the holidays and Iâm not around family. Remembering that you are here for a short time, make sure it is a good one. Release the tension in your shoulders, have some good conversations with family–maybe even try to get to know them a little better. It may sound weird, but I feel like I know next to nothing about a lot of my family. So, have that conversation with that cousin you only see during the holidays, you may find out something interesting and find yourself enjoying the time home.
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Home is where you make it, not always where you are from.
Have a wonderful holiday, darlings.