1. You’re reading this article
Alright ladies lets be honest, eighty percent of you opened this article because you’re questioning whether or not you are in a good relationship. If that’s the case, you’re probably not. Chances are you’ve been looking for validation for the way you feel about your relationship, and here it is. If you’ve gone through lists like “Signs He’s Not the One”, or “10 Things Proving He’s a Bad Boyfriend” and said to yourself, “Check, check, check, check, yep he’s got all ten,” you already know it’s not a good relationship. I could stop right here, but just for fun here’s a few more signs:
2. Your friends don’t like him
No matter how cliché it is, your friends know you best. Friends are your saviors in relationships. If you think about it, in most cases they’ve known you longer and spent more time with you than your boyfriend has. THEY KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU. We all have twisted perceptions of what we deserve, and the unfortunate truth is that most of the time they are way lower than they should be. The truest answer you will receive of what you deserve will come from your closest friends. They are invested in you, they love you, and they never want to see you hurt. Trust them.
3. You’re glued to your phone because if you stop texting him, WWIII breaks out
It’s not just about wanting to go through his phone to see what he’s up to; it’s about the compulsive need to be in contact with him just to avoid an explosive fight. For example:
BF: “Oh cool” 6:53 PM
BF: “Wtf are you doing, why aren’t you texting me back” 6:59 PM
You: “Sorry! I was making dinner quick” 7:02 PM
BF: “Yeah sure you were. Text me when you’re not busy.” 7:03 PM
You: “No I’m sorry talk to me!” 7:03 PM
BF: “No. You obviously don’t have time for me.” 7:07 PM
*Commence uneasy feeling and only focusing on getting him to no longer be mad at you.
4. You spend every waking second together
Because honestly, it’s just easier than fighting. If you can’t go out to different places without fighting, it’s a problem. Couples need to spend time with friends and family, or just have some time to themselves. It’s healthy to need some space. If you’re sacrificing your social needs to avoid a fight, red flag.
5. You make excuses for him
We all want our friends and family to like him, who wouldn’t? But if this leads to making excuses in the hopes they overlook his obvious downfalls, you’ve got a problem. “He couldn’t make it, something came up.” “He was just really cranky the other day, he didn’t mean it.” “He’s usually not like this.” In the end you’re trying to convince yourself as much as them, and do you really want people to like him because of the lies you told them?
6. The lows outweigh the highs
The thing about toxic relationships is that they’re not all bad, all the time. They’re deceiving. Sometimes you get the highest of highs and feel unstoppable with him. Everything’s great, you’re perfect for each other, you’re on cloud nine. But then you realize that those days don’t happen often, and that the majority of the time you’re in a low state of mind. It is so easy for women to compartmentalize the bad and focus on the good, but you have to remember the bad. Write the highs and lows of your relationship on a piece of paper. The paper won’t lie to itself like we often do; if the bad outweighs the good, it is a toxic relationship.
7. You start to question your worth
“Maybe I am stupid; maybe I do hang out with friends too much; maybe I should change.” No one knows how boys have the power to make women question our worth, but they have it. Take a step back and look at the relationship; have you tried to change yourself for him? If you have, you’re not in the right relationship. The fact is that there are people out there that will make you feel good, genuinely and consistently good, for simply being you.