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Taken at 21: Cons of Being in a Relationship Now

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Molloy chapter.

While we believe that being in a relationship at this age is a good thing, we can’t ignore that there are also cons to being in a relationship at this age. Here are a few that we came up with: 

1) It can be hard to “grow up”

Katt

When you’re so used to being around someone often and being stuck in your habits, it can be hard to “grow up,” and begin seeing the world differently once you’ve grown accustomed to the stability of being in a relationship. It can be the worst for your relationship if one (or both!) members feel like they’re stuck in a rut and can’t grow. The best remedy to this is to just do it- grow and be an individual while also remaining true to who you are at your core- the person who your significant other fell in love with in the first place.

Growing up really happens when you’re not paying attention – subtleties that end up shaping who you are. However, if your partner can’t handle you growing up (and wants you to stay 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, etc. forever), then there is a major problem in the very foundation of the relationship. So, be fearless and take advantage of opportunities that will help you grow professionally, personally and spiritually- you will only regret that which you do not do!

2) It can be hard to keep up with commitments.

Katt 

Between work, internships, classes, extra-curriculars and spending time with family, it can be hard enough to just find the time to spend with your significant other, much less friends or co-workers. When you’re in a relationship, more often than not, you’re more likely to spend time with your S.O. over your friends. Time management in college and in relationships is key- see each other as often as you can/want, but don’t neglect the friends and family members who will always be there for you. 

3) You might want a relationship, but you’re not ready for your relationship.

Max  

Having a relationship can be the most amazing, beautiful, rewarding and incredible experience. But if you are not ready for a commitment at any level, then you are bound to run into problems. You have to be comfortable enough to ask yourself,  “What kind of relationship do I want right now?” If you get into a relationship, but you and your S.O. aren’t on the same page with what is expected from each other, it can be emotional warzone.

4) Communication can be hard. 

Max

No matter what the relationship, be it with your immediate family, your BFF, or your BAE, there’s a lot that can be missed when you communicate, especially if you are texting or messaging each other.  Katt and I took a long time to really get a feel for how the other speaks, and we still are learning today! If there isn’t a clear effort on both sides to make sure your ideas are getting more than just a read recipt, it’s only a matter of time and one inappropriate emoji to spell disaster. 

 

We italicized all the “cans” in this article because these are all things that can go wrong in relationships if communication and clarity are lacking. The truth is, every relationship has hiccups. Disagreements, fights, and miscommunicated thoughts are part of any relationship (as long as they are not violent, abusive, or manipulative – then, please seek help). Being clear and communicating well with your S.O. can fix anything and make your relationship stronger. We still recommend being in a long-term relationship now, but it isn’t for everyone. Be who you are, and do what makes you happy — that’s what your 20s, and life, is all about!

Single? Taken? What do you love/hate about your love life? Let us know in the comments!

Katherine (Katt) is a senior studying Business Management and Philosophy at Molloy. She's an officer for Phi Sigma Tau and an active member of Sigma Beta Delta. She's a staunch advocate for the commuter life, has studied abroad in France, Sweden, Japan, and Spain, and spent two spring breaks in New Orleans building homes for those affected by Hurricane Katrina. She's an intern for a local non-profit, works part-time at a chocolate factory, and volunteers teaching English to new Americans! She is looking forward to contributing a lot during Molloy's first full year of having a HerCampus Chapter, and will [hopefully] be able to impart some quasi-wisdom on the underclassmen before graduating. Outside of school, she loves traveling, reading, writing, spending time with family, friends, and her boyfriend, and being outdoors. 
Max is a senior studying Music and Psychology in an Interdisciplinary Studies Degree here at Molloy.  He loves making music, traveling internationally, working as a swim instructor and music teacher, cooking all kinds of food, and going out with his awesome girlfriend! He wants to work in some form of community outreach once he graduates and enters the real world, but until then wants to share his experiences and ideas with the collegiettes of HerCampus Molloy! :)